The Legacy of Poor King Dong
If Anderson McGain thought the creature was uncontrollable before, he never got his mind (nor his crew’s capable hands) around how the monstrous monkey would act at the showing. Wrestling the eighteen-foot ape from his jungle habitat, spiriting it across the ocean in a rickety boat and displaying him in the bustle and bray of our fair city, the creature known as King Dong was agitated to all reasonably dangerous limits. When McGain’s stage-manager threw the curtain aside to reveal the snarling, huge mammal, King Dong gave out with a roar to the assembled audience, broke his bonds and left by climbing through over overhead stage catwalk, out the theater’s lone skylight, all of which subsequently broke under his weight and force.
I’d bet the nub of my trusty pencil that quite a few well-dressed ladies who left the theater that night were less overcome by the creature’s escape then by its massive appendage…and quite of few of them went home aching for something equally as big, long and thick between their own thighs. Being on the crime beat as long as I have, I know shock and grief can rally romance and light lusts more than most emotions. I am sure many a well-heeled society matron in attendance that evening demanded brutal force and giant cocks in their bedrooms (even if they could get them) that night while the wild woolly ape stole his way across a shocked Big Apple, New York’s finest in fast pursuit.
I was there that night, covering the big beat for the “The Sun” as I always do, and let me tell you the story was the story of the week, if not the month. When they finally trapped poor King Dong, climbing the side of one of our more lofty buildings, there was no doubt his nickname was earned as he broke windows and dragged his great big cock up the side of the building. Climbing with the innocent, screaming Miss Dorothy Pliads in his grip. I actually felt sorry for the big ape, I truly did (not though for sporting such a huge dong, that any man would be envious of) for being brought here, a ‘fish out of water’, (more precisely a ‘ape of of jungle’) who would only ever would meet the untimely end as he did.
The ape fell after being shot down by our fast-to-act air boys and I, with the rest of the city-many more women than men I noticed-came to regard what we all had to admit was a fine piece of erect specimen, as the ape’s huge cock stood straight and true, hard and proud from its inert body, like a tower itself in the dawning New York skyline. I had heard and don’t quote yours’ truly as I am not completely sure (and a reporter never likes to be quoted) that quite a few dildos, dongs and other ’substitutes’ were fashioned that day from the quick memories of enterprising sexual toy makers after seeing the massive ape’s namesake.
Thus the legacy of poor King Dong.