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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #16 
I have never understood women who get upset when they "find out" their man is mastubating. I've had freinds come to me, in tears because of this, and without being mean I kind of want to say, "you don't?"

Sometimes you just wanna do it, and not have to please someone else, or worry about them at the moment. Sometimes he isn't there, or isn't in the mood (rarely) sometimes it was fast and you didn't get a chance to come (frustrating, but it happens to all of us who have morning sex a LOT, and whose man has to get to work so you're kind of on a clock) sometimes it was SO good, you're still horny after a number of orgasms and just want to relive it. Once in a great while, if the Old Man was drinking, he falls asleep before I'm done and I just want to finish up.  > (Too often this makes for an unhappy wife....)

But, everybody does this, men and women. Maybe some men do it more than some women. But I am sure women just talk about it less. I've heard some women say they never masturbate, and I don't know if they don't know how (how hard IS it to figure out?) or if they think it's "wrong" and I want to know how on earth these women EVER learned to have an orgasm. It's kind of something you have to teach yourself to learn to do, before you can guide a man how to please you.

And look at sex toys MOST are made for women. SOMEBODY is using those toys! (No, they aren't just for masturbation, but that is ONE use of many multi use toys. I have one little bullet vibe that I never use during sex. It's just my little friend, mine alone. I like that.

It never bothered me when I knew my Man is masturbating, it never DID bother me. (It used to really turn me on, when we were separated and he told me he jerked off while thinking about me that day.) It doesn't bother him if I do it. I've never understood the fuss. I've always felt one's body is to do with what one likes.

I LOVE Em&Lo, by the way.

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wonder357

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Reply with quote  #17 
My problem is that my husband is masturbating rather than having sex with me. I am MORE than willing to have sex anytime and am very experimental so that can't be the problem. I've talked to him about it but he avoids the discussion and says it is just something men do. What really bothers me is the material he is masterbating to and the women he is fantasizing about. I am a black woman and his interests are in white women. I'm not being racist, but I feel like he is choosing them over me since we aren't having sex. I've asked him about it but he brushes it off as just something men do. So, am I really reading too much into his masturbation materials or should I be more concerned?
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Plum Pudding

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Reply with quote  #18 
Wonder I think the least of your problems is the masturbation. Skip the materials that he uses as well. Sounds like you all need to sit down and have a serious conversation about why the two of you aren't being intimate. Only reason I say that is because if he were looking at black women would you feel less upset.. NO. The problem is he is using it is a source to pleasure himself and not receiving or giving to you. I hope that you can sit and seriously get to the root of the problem and get everything back on track. Goodluck to you.
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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #19 
I need to agree with Plum, wonder. A lot of sex therapists say masturbation is not a problem unless it interferes with partnered sex.

I have no idea why he doesn't want to have sex. But, talking with him or even getting some counseling would help. I agree that the material itself if probably NOT the issue here.

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studley

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Reply with quote  #20 
All I'll say is that at my age it takes a bit to get me cranked up for sex. So I don't MB as much as I used to but I find that 90% of the time I will MB the day after having sex with the wife.
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tuffty

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Reply with quote  #21 


    This is tricky....i found out aboutmasturbation at a very very early age ( 7 or 8 ) so i think maybe with me it,s a habit more than a need......but in later life now i find it,s more a need than a habit !!!.....i find it gets me threw ok and stops me from running off with some poor unfortunate woman and making a complete mess of things......so for me now in this part of my life it,s a coping mechenism i guess ?.....lol...i sound like a therapists now ?

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ireallywanttoknow

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Reply with quote  #22 
You know I have been reading this thread and I really feel like I have to say something. I rarely masturbate since I got married.  I think I can count on one hand the times I have since getting together with my wife.  When I was alone I did it once a day and on occasion more.  I have always found that I need sex less with a partner. Not that I want sex less with a partner.  It's just I don't know how else to say other than when I masturbate I feel the need to do it more often.  The satisfaction I get from a partner lasts me a few days.  I am more satisfied with my wife so I don't really feel the need to masturbate.  My wife and I are pretty frequent to usually 5 of 7 days a week so I don't really need to do myself.  Work sent her on the road for a few days a while back and I was good for a couple of days until all of a sudden I started once a day by myself just like I was single.  She enjoyed the pics I sent her of my sessions so I think she may have been doing it too.
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Faleena

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Reply with quote  #23 
My boyfriend and I still masturbate after being together for over a year. It doesn't bother me at all that he does it. One time when I came home from work I walked in on him wanking it to some porn on his laptop, and when he saw me he slammed it shut really quick and looked all shy. I just chuckled at him, haha (in retrospect I should have joined him!).

For some reason it seems the thought of me "needing" to masturbate bothers him (he doesn't seem to understand I don't always do it out of "need". He often hints that he doesn't like the idea of me having any toys, so I have to keep my vibrator hidden for fear of hurting his feelings. He seems to be one of those insecure kinda guys who feels like he should be more than enough to keep me satisfied.

The fact of the matter is, satisfied or not, a lot of people still masturbate. Sometimes they, myself included, just wanna get off quickly with minimal effort or they're simply more in the mood for a solo session. It often has NO reflection whatsoever on the abilities (or lack thereof) of their partner. Sigh.
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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #24 
Faleena! He's jealous of your toys but has no problem looking at porn to jack-off? That's a double standard and you should totally call him on it. Next time you walk in on the wank, just say, "That's ok honey. I've got Lexington Steele to keep me satisfied."


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Plum Pudding

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Reply with quote  #25 
"That's ok honey. I've got Lexington Steele to keep me satisfied."

That is to funny Tabu and can you just imagine the look on his face.

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tuffty

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Reply with quote  #26 


    WHY ? .....well it,s simple , easy , quick and we guys are so easy to please !!!.... we do it becuase we can !!!......but i do prefer mutual masturbation if it,s on the cards.....   ...see we are not all selfish !! ....lol great post 

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