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This is one of my favorites and another one that's best told by someone who can imitate a Scottish brogue.
A company of the Black Watch, the famous, "Queens Assassins," of World War Two fame were standing ready for inspection. The colonel and the sergeant major approached and noted that the troops were looking smart. Their brass and boots were highly polished, their starched khaki shirts pressed as were their kilts but at the end of a long like one chap obviously had a huge erection. Shocked, the colonel asked, "Sergeant major, what's wrong with that man?" The sergeant major nervously answered, "I duuno sir." "Has he been to town?" the colonel asked. "I dunno sir," the sergeant major replied. "Then see to it the poor lad takes leave and gets rrid of that thing.". And they postponed the inspection until the following week. The next week they fell in, all looking spiffy except again the same guy had a huge erection. The colonel turned to the sergeant major and angrily asked, "Sergeant major, did ye not take that man to town?" "I did sir," he answered more that a little nervous this time. "And did he not get that thing serviced?" "I dunno," answered the sergeant major. "Well this time," the colonel ordered, "Ye take that lad to town and see to it he gets that thing serviced." They postponed the inspection for another week and when they came out to inspect the troops the following week, as you can probably guess, the young man had another huge erection. Now the colonel was very angry. "Sergeant major!" he bellowed, "Did you not take that lad to town?" "I did sir," answered the sergeant major. "Did ye not see to it that he got that thing serviced," demanded the colonel. "I did sir." "Then what's wrong with that man?" "I dunno sir. Perhaps he's taken a liking to you sir."
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