Registered: 1219248951 Posts: 1,606
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Ever been miles away from your lover? Did it end up working out or did it just end?
LDRs, like any relationship take work. And patience. Some people will go the non-monagamy route in the meantime. Others will just spoon their bed pillows and pretend it's their partner. But what do you do when those sexual urges take over? Have phone sex? What if your partner isn't available to talk? You could always see us about some sex toys but that will only hold you for so long, right? Or not? Have you ever been in an LDR? Did it last? Give us your story in the comments. __________________ Shop safe at Tabutoys.com Read our Sex Blog!
Registered: 1228053875 Posts: 471
Reply with quote #2
My second wife started out as a LDR. She lived in Reno, NV...I was in middle Georgia. It started out innocently enough...friends in a chat room...just us and 15 of our friends. One night, I found I had some time on my hands (along with my cock) so I sent her a private message..."If I slid my hand under your shirt, what would I find?" Her response..."Not much...but feel free to find out!" ('Not much' my ass...she had beautiful 36C breasts!) It went from there. We had internet sex and phone sex. And then we met for real.
LDR's have one HUGE problem. You can be whomever you want to be...the truth be damned. I have always been very upfront...what you see is what you get...whether it is on line or face to face. She neglected to tell me she was very much an alcoholic. I married her anyway...but it went downhill from there. After seven years, I lost her to cancer...but my relationship with her taught me a very valuable lesson...stay the hell away from LDR's! __________________ Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life http://bluelizardbar.blogspot.com/?zx=17474cbdabf4a835
Registered: 1227074740 Posts: 651
Reply with quote #3
LOL Roadie. You're usually not so cynical.. or are you? d=
I also met my husband online. Unfortunately, much of our relationship has been long distance, not just because we lived across the country but because he was stationed overseas and has been deployed twice. I think people forget about all the different forms that an LDR can take and any relationship can be an LDR at a certain time. I'm certainly glad we're over it because it was hard. We weren't there physically for eachother when we needed it. Sex obviously had to be modified. Communication is sometimes scarce. Depression sinks in easily. Although we are both adept at communicating online, there's still things that you miss from physical and other cues. It's really stressful altogether and absolutely not for everyone. Of course, if someone is across the country or world, they may be able to lie or hide things from you but it's no less true about someone sitting across the table.
Registered: 1228053875 Posts: 471
Reply with quote #4
Good point about the across the table, Adriana! I guess my cynacism in this case comes from the fact that I am a pretty good judge of people...whether on line or face to face. I REALLY missed it with her.
And truth in advertising compels me to state that Dreamer and I met on-line...kinda. We both had accounts on dating sites...both 'normal' ones and adult. I sent her a message, she sent me her phone number...the rest, as they say, is history...hee hee! __________________ Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life http://bluelizardbar.blogspot.com/?zx=17474cbdabf4a835
Registered: 1265841546 Posts: 16
Reply with quote #5
My current bf and I started out long distance. So they definitely can work. Like stated previously the most important thing to remember is that people can be whoever they want to be long distance. They can say whatever they want without truth behind it. However, so can people who you meet in a bar, so you have to take it all with a grain of salt. There are many success stories out there of people who have made their long distance relationships into real time successful relationships.
Registered: 1258125113 Posts: 366
Reply with quote #6
The Man and I had an LDR when I was away at college. It was his idea that we have an Open Relationship. As with most things sexual, I was reluctant at first and then found it great! We discovered I had the ability to be Polyamorous, and he
didn't. (He's a Scorpio, and scarily monogamous, evidentially.) He informed me if he had a lover and it kind of hurt, but he's a painfully honest guy, and he wasn't trying to be mean, just honest. Years later, when we became monogamous he once told me, during a Drunk that he "wanted to kill all those other guys you were with." OMG! Not that he's DO it, just that it upset him that much, We also found out that all his complaining that I wasn't "rugged" enough was for the best. (I'm a girl, what did he want?) Two of the women he dated during this Open Relationship time "cheated" on him.......with other chicks...... Their mistake was lying about it. He hates lying. Now, if he ever complains that I am not "rugged" enough (despite the fact that I am tough) or he says something like "stop being a pussy about it." I can say, "I have a pussy, but I don't need one from someone else. Please review your "rugged women" and the trouble that gave you. Deal with my feminine wiles." He also has terrible "Les-Dar" he'll think a woman is hot, and about a quarter of the time, I'll have to inform him, "She's a dyke, honey." Then we'll both intone, "Not that there's anything wrong with that." He had the biggest crush on our babysitter, who is a lesbian and he wouldn't believe me! We finally had her over for dinner......with her "husband." "Oh. I guess she's bi." He said. NO, she's a lesbian. You can learn interesting things about your lover by having an at least temporary Open Relationship, but you have to be prepared if either one of you finds someone you like better. It's a hazard. I'm glad we did it because I was very young and a virgin when I first started dating him, and if we hadn't had that time, I would probably be constantly wondering what other men were like. I think it was good for us, I KNOW it was. But, there are things you need to be able to accept. Jealousy is not something that works well in an Open Relationship. In fact, his reaction to my other lovers was the main reason we have not investigated Swinging. I don't think he could handle it, even though he thinks he could..... __________________ I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
Registered: 1228053875 Posts: 471
Reply with quote #7
We dont have any kind of an open relationship...nor is it long distance...but P Gell did bring up an interesting point about knowing your lover.
Dreamer is much more experienced than I am...I have led a very sheltered sex life...until her. I always want to know stuff...and I am interested in her past. If I want to know, I ask, and she is very willing to answer...truthfully (last topic was blow jobs just because she wanted a cock in her mouth...I ask...she answered) There is no jealously involved in what she tells me...that was her past...she is with me now. As far as swinging goes...there I am jealous as hell and it aint never gonna happen! __________________ Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life http://bluelizardbar.blogspot.com/?zx=17474cbdabf4a835
Reply with quote #8
I found long distance relationships were not for me. It may have had a lot to do with trust issues since for 18 years I had those to contend with during my first marriage.
When Roadie and I met, we lived a lil over 50 miles apart. That's why it was easy for me to decide that, yes, I would move in with him after a very short time. I had already decided he was the one and that if it didn't work with him I was giving up...lol