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macnroy

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Reply with quote  #1 
I don't know if anyone else has this issue but at leas 90% of the time my husband and i have anal sex there is a little something left over on him.  Is it because he cums in my ass?  and is there any way to stop this from happening? Help please.
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Roadie

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Reply with quote  #2 
There are a couple discussions on here about 'left-overs'. Not exactly sure under what thread, but maybe one of our moderators or someone else remembers where they are.

The basic conversation is that it happens. Nothing to worry about and cause you to stop having ana sex. The big suggestion is when it happens, wash it off!

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Hank Alvarez

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Reply with quote  #3 
    I think this is the hardest part of anal sex to  get around. There's got to be a definite correlation between peoples' reluctance to engage in it and the hygiene issue. I know with us it's always been a very spontaneous thing and you're supposed to plan for it. Maybe that's why we haven't been too successful.
    The ladies I've known who were into it admitted to having cleaned them selves out, an enema/douche, earlier and that certainly takes a lot of the spontaneity out of it. It's worth mentioning though that there were still frequent specks of fecal material, but not much.
    Sometimes there was a very slight brown tint to the lube we used after we were done. Duh. Dummy me, I never thought about it at the time but I guess there is some inherent mess involved. I can't say there was ever any odor. A number of contributors, (I think Adriana was one of them), suggested keeping baby wipes handy which is a great idea. They don't fit under our bed though and I guess it makes it as obvious to visitors as the tube of anal-eze and jar Vaseline were on the bed stand that you frequently saw in the seventies.
    Paper towels are also a good idea although I prefer to be cleaned up by my lover with a warm damp wash cloth. Hank 
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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hi Macnroy,

Unfortunately it does happen from time to time, but it shouldn't happen every time. The rectum and anus are simply a passageway for feces, not a storage area. That doesn't mean you'll never see traces of feces, but it should be rare and very sparse. I'd advise you to take a look at what you're eating and pay attention to your body's urge to defecate. Here is an excellent snippet from a piece called Navigating the Anus by Meghan Lane, HIV counselor at the Berkeley Free Clinic:

Pay attention to your defecation reflex. You know the feeling - a heaviness in the lower abdomen, accompanied by the urge to defecate. Some people heed this warning and go as soon as possible. Others opt to wait until a more convenient time. Making a habit of ignoring your rectal reflex may cause your internal anal sphincter to lose its ability to relax. If your anal sphincters are continually tensed, anal insertion can be tedious or alternately very painful.

Third, eat fiber. Wheat Chex, apples, oatmeal, you name it. Fiber will increase the bulk of your stools so that your anal sphincters will slacken and constrict the way that they are supposed to, and your anus will be healthier for it.


If you decide to douche, which I do not recommend, please only use water and no chemicals. Let's hope this info helps!

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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #5 
Maybe we're lucky, but we've never had visible anything "left over." Everybody's digestive system is different, but poo shouldn't be hanging around in the rectal cavity for long. I don't want to get too graphic (but I will) some people just have softer poops than others and I guess those are more likely to stick around. A warm wash cloth clean up afterward is really nice, and necessary if you are going to go on to ANYTHING else with the penis or hand that was in the anus. You don't want to transmit fecal bacteria (it's there, whether you can see it or not) from the anus to anywhere else. We use a clean rinsing soap, like Cetaphil. Put the soap on one corner of the moistened washcloth and use the rest to clean up the soap. Not a big deal, and he doesn't have to get up.

I do have to add, if you are going to "clean out" the anus and rectum beforehand (we never bother, because this stuff makes me sick, stuff like enemas give me cramps and the runs, so they are out for us.)please,  Use a Saline Enema.

But,if it works for you or you have to do this due to "left overs"  please use a nice saline enema. The rectum absorbs everything put into it, faster and more efficiently than your upper GI system does. Plain water will be absorbed very quickly and too much can actually cause "water intoxication" if used frequently or even once, in susceptible people. A saline enema which uses the same balance as your body will balance things, and not cause problems. I have forgotten the formula for making your own saline enema (but I am sure you can find it online) but Fleet makes a nice one, which doesn't cause cramps in MOST people and will have the proper saline balance, so you don't have problems with water intoxication. There is a tiny amount of a minor "preservative" in it, but not enough to make you sick at all. In fact, as they are prepared ahead of time, the small amount of preservative prevents any "nasties" from growing in the bottle of enema fluid.

Some people swear by "soap sud" enemas (we use them in the ER with seriously constipated people) but they tend to make you go and go for a long time. They work on a GI "irritant" idea. They really clean you out. Don't make one of these up, unless you know what you are doing. I believe they can be bought made up ahead of time. But, I'd wait several hours, until you are DONE cleaning out, before even thinking about sex, if you are going to go the soap suds route.

Just my nursing training coming in here.

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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #6 
The basic formula is 1 Tablespoon of Salt (non iodized salt, or Kosher Salt) to 1 Quart of warm water. Dissolve the salt completely before using.

A QUART is  LOT of fluid, especially for a beginner. I'd suggest, to keep the recipe intact making up the quart, and just using a cup or less. Too much can be VERY uncomfortable.

Also, too frequent enemas, in some people can promote "lazy bowel" meaning you start to count on the enema to get things moving. (We see this in kids with really "involved" mothers more than you could guess.) I don't know what to call "frequent" but probably more than once a week is a lot for most people.

Trust your own body while doing this.

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Plum Pudding

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Reply with quote  #7 
All of those tips are great. For me  it was watching what I ate especially if I knew it was what I wanted to do that day. As for your wife, I know I do, should know if that may be a problem. If she went to the bathroom sometime before, if her stomach doesnt' feel well.  I know that sounds crazy but truthful. Also after awhile you learn to be ok with it especially if it doen't happen all the time, it is a ass and it comes with the territory. lol
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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #8 
Love the input on this! Such a big concern for people. Plum, you're spot on - sometimes after a certain dinner you just know that arena is closed for the night.

P Gell - right on the douching. I don't recommend making a habit of it and also giving yourself a "grace period" before anal sex.

You might use a little plug or anal toy to warm up the bum. You can always remove it, casually inspect it and take it from there. Sometimes, we aren't really aware of what could be happening behind us, what with all the lube and motion. Your partner usually finds out first. Communicate with each other and just have something handy for clean up. I know it's not sexy to prep your session with towels or unsexy gear, but why not make it sexy? It may turn out that a towel casually draped on the chest at the foot of the bed might mean he's getting lucky

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Plum Pudding

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Reply with quote  #9 
Mine always has a towel handy so I don't have to see it just in case. He will do a quick clean up for me. Oh yeah and the babywipes thing is just great all way round. Not just for anal sex for just sex in general. It is a good quick clean up and it does a good job with breaking down lube.
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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #10 
Macnroy, I went back and read your question and forgot to address the fact that he does ejaculate in your ass. That should only result in post-coital drippage to get real sexy here! It may be slightly discolored and you should try to expel it before it happens to "pass" on it's own.  
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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #11 
This is a nice product, so the lube doesn't get all over everything when you are applying it. You just kinda....shoot it in....

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Astroglide_Anal_Lubricant_Shooters_6_pack

It does have glycerin in it, which some of us find irritates our vaginas and urinary tracts, but this stuff usually stays where it is put, and if you do what Pro said afterward, you shouldn't have too much.....drippage into other areas.

Baby wipes work well for some people, and they are not expensive, but I have spent most of my life around babies, changing diapers, and the smell of baby wipes reminds me of baby poop (and work)  and the smell of them actually make My Man gag (he wasn't the greatest diaper changer.) I can't abide them in the bedroom. But, there are after sex clean up wipes for adults, if you have this rather strange affliction.


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bettysmorgas

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Reply with quote  #12 
Trust me, G, a good rim job before anal always works wonders for me. Of course my boyfriend has a very long tongue, and maybe that is my advantage. Oh what a great feeling though. I feel bad hat I won't do the same for him, but he gets to back door me so it's even. Forgive the pun.

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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bettysmorgas

Trust me, G, a good rim job before anal always works wonders for me. Of course my boyfriend has a very long tongue, and maybe that is my advantage. Oh what a great feeling though. I feel bad hat I won't do the same for him, but he gets to back door me so it's even. Forgive the pun. http://www.losingmytransmission.com/blog


Hey there Betty - since you're linking to your blog here, why don't you give the TabuToys Sex Forum a plug? We'd probably even let you keep your link up 

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JsAlley

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Reply with quote  #14 
I look at anal play honestly.  You're playing in an area that expels, so it could get messy from time to time.  I have had enemas suggested to me, but since they are not needed physically I don't use them.  You can be sure to try to prep yourself with a shower and be sure to clean really well, and be sure to eat fiber and time your playtime for after your releases...so later in the day.

Be honest and talk with your partner.  Since it is anal play you may end up with a mess from time to time (like I said earlier).
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