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GoldGoat

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Posts: 31
Reply with quote  #1 
My partner and I have been dipping our toes into the BDSM world this year. I have always been drawn to experimenting with the classic submissive role, and I find I really enjoy receiving a moderate spanking. We recently bought a flogger and now my wife has become curious about caning. To be honest I’m more than a bit nervous about that. Any advice on how to start?
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TabuToys Moderator
Reply with quote  #2 
When an experienced Dom is thinking about bringing caning into your relationship, they are more than likely ready to move the physical aspect of the BDSM to a new level, and the experienced sub may be willing to trust with caution. But if both of you are relatively new at the game, take some time to learn the basics before delving hardcore into caning. Your Dom should spend time learning varying techniques; light caning can feel similar to other kinds of gentle percussion play, while the full force of the cane can produce searing pain. You will have to discover where along that continuum you belong. Read, learn from the experiences of others you know, buy toys that may approach the feeling of caning, know each others’ boundaries, and use those safewords. Most of all, enjoy your journey into this new erotic territory.

You can also find a great post on "Spanking 101" from Bluefox here: http://forums.tabutoys.com/community/index.php?topic=443.0
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Longshanks

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Posts: 11
Reply with quote  #3 
Be creative with it. When I perform a caning it's not just something that happens. Eric Carwardine (one of the most skilled caning enthusiasts in the world) has much to say about setting the scene for a great caning. Anticipation and build up is key. One of his suggestions that I've used with great effect is his "'DO WE NEED TO TALK' scenario. In which, occasionally, my partner tries "bratting" me at public functions, like dinners or parties.  When I've had enough my sub's antics, I say to her, so she is overheard by many,  'Do we need to talk?' Which is code for 'you'll be eating standing-up tomorrow'. As we drive home together after the party in total silence she knows what's in store.  I keep my cane mounted on the wall in my office, which  I I'll instruct her to take down and hand to me. Above and beyond the technical aspects of caning, your wife should employ suspense for the best results.
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theillestwun

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #4 
My girlfriend and I are just starting to explore the whole BDSM thing to spice things up in the bedroom. I came across this site that I thought had some useful information on it for people starting out. You might find some of the information to be of use to you. http://www.tugweekly.com/component/zine/article/109-tugs-guide-to-kinky-sex
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MissOphelia

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Posts: 28
Reply with quote  #5 
During my tenure as a professional masochist, I was the only pro in the country that permitted the most severe,brutal Singapore-style canings.

(not to toot my own horn here, sorry)

I have given a few workshops/demos on Caning for all levels of interest.

I would be more than happy to provide information, answer questions, and direct you to where you can purchase quality canes.

Knowing what it feels like to be caned, and to cane others is exciting.

I may still have the handout I typed up for my demo, but....

-Do not attempt to cane hard or severe without ample practice first. It does not have to be severe to be fun.
-Purchase good quality rattan canes that are not overfinished with shellac or underfinished. We do not want splinters or bits of shellac making cuts in the skin.
-If you do plan on a severe Singapore style caning, be sure to know your partner, their health status, and to disinfect, clean wounds, and so on.

I can give many pointers, but if you have specific questions they are welcome, too!

-I always encourage the use of a safeword during a scene. I do not care if you are Dom Schlong, Domme of So and So or what-have-you....you are not above being safe, sane and consensual.

And don't give this crap about being "born a Dom" . Nobody is "born" anything. We may develop into kinky folks. But we are not born with whips in hand!

I have had canes broken over me, and I will say: If you plan on breaking an implement over a deserving subs arse, make sure it is of good quality. Again on the small shards.

Nurse any bruises, welts, cuts, ect back to health. A good Dom/me will provide aftercare to their sub. This can mean a nice Arnica rub over Mistresses lap.

Arnica is all natural and can be found in any health food store or vitamin shop. They have it in edible pellets and in creams/gels. I suggest BOTH after playing. I also suggest taking Arnica edible pellets if you know you are playing hard in advance. You will heal faster with Arnica.

For bruising, you can feel free to ice the area afterward. This can also be incorporated into some plauful teasing by the Domme to the sub!

Ok enough of my rambling, I can go on and on about this! Let someone else speak! LOL!
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