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admin

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Reply with quote  #1 
We're living in interesting times. Fifty years ago who would have believed that it would become perfectly acceptable to call someone a "pimp" as a compliment? Equally strange, is how the label of "nice guy" has evolved. Nice guy: the opposite of cool, one step above pathetic. By the same token, "nice guy" can also used as a defense mechanism-When a man can define himself as a "nice guy" he's really drawing a contrast between himself (considerate, intelligent) versus the testosterone-based Alpha males (the not-so-smart guys that always get the girls.)

This excellent article from Wired.com has an interesting take on the theory of the nice guy:

"There are any number of geek guys running around out there without the love and companionship that many people and all golden retrievers deserve.....

They undertake a deep self-assessment, questioning all their long-cherished beliefs about themselves, and this is what they conclude: They’re too nice. And that’s hilarious!

Guys, you’re not “too nice.” That’s like saying you can’t get seated at an L.A. restaurant because you’re too famous."


Read the rest of the article here: The Nice Guy’s Guide to Realizing You’re Not That Nice

Ladies, what's your take? Have you ever broken off a relationship based on the fact that he was "too nice?"

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destined
Reply with quote  #2 
My perception of a "nice guy" is one who doesn't push a gal into the sack from date one. He's a conversationalist who will get to know her as a person. I have never stereotyped men as most women do. I prefer the type of man who is open and honest with his questions. I hate it when they assume they know what I like by placing me in a certain group.
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Annabanana

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Reply with quote  #3 
I've broken things off with very nice men who didn't excite me or arouse my curiosity past a certain point.  I don't think it had anything to do with bieng nice ( I like nice) but I need passion to stay interested.
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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #4 
I actually did break off a short term relationship with a guy who would be considered "nice." He WAS nice, he was sweet, I liked him, but there was no chemistry. I am not saying his "niceness" caused the lack of chemistry, I certainly don't want to be treated badly. But, I do like Alpha Male types. They don't have to be un-intelligent. My Man is an Alpha, big, muscular,  strong, aggressive, sexually assertive all that. He oozes Testosterone.  I would never have thought of that as "my type" (as a lot of the other guys I dated were more intellectual types) but, I ended up with him in the end.

Sometimes his lack of Overt Intellectualism (despite the fact that he is very intelligent, he doesn't read much, unless it's PDFs on some electronic or carpentry stuff,  and most of his intelligence is channeled into engineering, chess and other "male" pursuits) bothers me, I'd like to just sit and read with him some evenings, but I can't get him to sit still. *sigh* His family didn't value education (but he got a college education anyway, thank God) or reading or study etc.

But, I didn't marry him to "change" him and I knew exactly who he was before we decided to stay together forever.

And he really isn't the most polite guy. I don't think me means anything by it, he just doesn't think before he says something. He's honest to a fault.

I love him in spite of it, maybe because of it.

BUt, no. He isn't what I would consider a "nice guy."

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Adriana

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Reply with quote  #5 
I think the definition of a "nice guy"and a "nice" guy are two different, albeit confusing things.
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Hank Alvarez

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Reply with quote  #6 
Now a days you have to be careful what you say. Our language changes constantly and it has changed dramatically in the last forty years. Look at the word gay; it use to mean happy. When I was young they said, "Nice guys finished last." It was a put down; you were calling a guy a loser. But in sex if the guy finishes last and she got hers then he's a nice guy and that's not so bad is it? HHH 
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Adriana

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Reply with quote  #7 
^ that's one way to look at it!
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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #8 
HHH, we could say good  guys make sure we come first. (Or at least come back for us later, before they fall asleep or go out and cut the lawn. LOL!)

The Man has a bad habit within minutes of the resolution phase of sex has started for both of us, dressing quickly and going out side to cut the lawn, shovel the snow, or do some "project." I could lie there for hours......but, as far as I am concerned, he's a Good Guy, if he makes sure I've gotten mine before he either passes out or goes out.

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