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Tabu Toypro

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from Not For Men Only on MaleHealthCenter.com

Most men consider an active and satisfying sex life to be one of the most important parts of their lives. Yet many of them needlessly let their relationship waste away because they don't have their priorities straight.

Great sex is the result of an excellent relationship, not the cause of it. Being a good lover is not a matter of having extra-large physical equipment, knowing the "correct" technique, or being able to last all night. It's a matter of knowing, understanding and caring for your partner. To renew that bond, consider a few recommendations from experts such as my friend, Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld, from San Francisco:

Tell her that you find her attractive
Many guys assume that one compliment is good for years. Think about it, though. Can you imagine being told too often that you look good? Do you feel sexier when you've been complimented on your physique?

Take your time
In the rush of every day life, sex too often doesn't get time for warm-up. Try thinking of the entire day as foreplay. Be attentive and romantic at breakfast before you leave in the morning. Take her to lunch. Linger over conversation at dinner. Anticipation is at least half the fun.

Accept the fact that your drives aren't always in synch
People really do get headaches, and concern and caring—offer to fetch aspirin—is much more likely to get her feeling better (and interested) than being grumpy about it.

Try alternatives
Penetration isn't all there is to good sex, nor is it even necessary. See how a session of non-intercourse sex works for you.

Talk in bed
One of the most common complaints from women is that their men become mute once sex play starts. You're not at church or the library; this is fun. Tell her so.

Go ahead, ask
If she doesn't know what you like, it's unlikely that you'll receive it. Likewise, ask her what she prefers. Communication in bed can work wonders.

Be imaginative
Monotony is the death of good sex. This doesn't necessarily involve gymnastics. Spontaneity, which can as simple as choosing different places and times, is what's important.

Above all, focus on you and your partner's pleasure, not measure. It's not how big, how often, or how long. It's how good you both feel.

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joanprice

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Reply with quote  #2 
I've posted my own 10 Tips for Hot Sex after Sixty on my blog at http://betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com/2006/04/10-tips-for-hot-sex-after-sixty.html.

I'd love to hear what tips all of you have!

-- Joan

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Joan Price

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Tabu Toypro

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Reply with quote  #3 
Joan -

Love your "sexy notes in pockets" suggestion. It's better than a sexy text message because you never know when they'll discover it. Added boost - blot a kiss of lipstick on the paper after writing it.

Also, "doing things on your own to feel sexy". Great advice - building anticipation in yourself first can really charge up the internal battery. 

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Hank Alvarez

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Reply with quote  #4 
I'm retired but my wife is about five years from it so I slip little notes into her lunch when she isn't looking and she says it makes her day. It does a lot for my nights too.
Try it. Hank
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joanprice

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Reply with quote  #5 
Robert and I used to exchange a tiny (about 1-1/2 inches tall) toy panda. I'd leave it in his shoe, on his toothbrush handle, under his pillow, in his bathrobe pocket, even on top of the coffeepot -- anywhere he'd find it and enjoy the surprise. He'd do the same for me, leaving it on my computer keyboard, in my key ring bracelet, on my napkin, at the foot of a vase of flowers he left in my bathroom. Every so often one of us would find a hiding place that was too good, and the other would go around the house calling, "Where's Panda?" It was a cute game, so easy to do, that nurtured the fun in our relationship.

(I say "used to" not because we tired of it, but because I lost my dear love a year ago.)

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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #6 
Quote:
Originally Posted by joanprice

Robert and I used to exchange a tiny (about 1-1/2 inches tall) toy panda. I'd leave it in his shoe, on his toothbrush handle, under his pillow, in his bathrobe pocket, even on top of the coffeepot -- anywhere he'd find it and enjoy the surprise. He'd do the same for me, leaving it on my computer keyboard, in my key ring bracelet, on my napkin, at the foot of a vase of flowers he left in my bathroom. Every so often one of us would find a hiding place that was too good, and the other would go around the house calling, "Where's Panda?" It was a cute game, so easy to do, that nurtured the fun in our relationship.

(I say "used to" not because we tired of it, but because I lost my dear love a year ago.)


That's sweet about the panda. I'm sorry you lost your Love.

My Man and I throw little prickly rubbery balls at each other. There are NO rules, you just try to hit the other person, when he or she is least expecting it. We call it "Porky Ball." "." [i]There are No Rules in Porky Ball. You do not TALK about Porky Balll[/i]"

We've had the same game going for around 15 years. We find the balls under the mattress, behind the couch, on the floor, in drawer, in the dryer, and the game starts up again.

I think one of the most important things is to have a sense of humor (I know it sounds clique) but to laugh while you are making love (or when you are fucking, there IS a difference) is essential. Maybe not every time, but don't be afraid to.

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Roadie

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Reply with quote  #7 
Good call on the laughter P Gell. Laughing before, during and after sex makes it that much better!
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P Gell

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Reply with quote  #8 
Absolutely, Roadie. I don't think I posted this story here yet.

A few weeks ago my man was trying something......different, and he fell off the bed! For a moment I was lying there thinking "WTF?
He fell on my nightstand,  knocking everything off and sending the bottle of Astroglyde skittering across the top, onto the floor, and we were gonna need it. He suddenly just started laughing, "OMG, I fell off the bed. What a fuckin' dork I am." And I started laughing and it was SO good.

FTR, I made him scour around on the floor to find the lube, while I continued to laugh...

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