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If you are worried about your partner looking at porn because you have concerns about how that affects his perception of you and your relationship, consider making him some porn of your own. That way, when his need for voyeurism takes his eyes wandering, they can wander all over your body, even when you’re away. Plus, seeing you like that whenever he wants to will probably make him want you even more.

You can start by taking pictures of yourself in sexy costumes and poses. Just set your camera up on a tripod or any piece of furniture that is level with your bed, couch, or whatever part of the room you want to be in. Set the camera’s timing device and then use your home printer to print the photos — all in the privacy of your own home! You can blow-up the pictures and staple them together to make a pin-up magazine, or you can print them usual size and put them into a small, inexpensive photo album. Leave it for him when you leave for work, and you’ll see who he really fantasizes about when you get home.

Another great option is to take video footage of you masturbating and playing with sex toys. If you need ideas, look up some Internet porn yourself. Mimic some of the things you’d like him to do to you, and say that while you play. Most digital cameras and camcorders can easily be hooked up to a computer and you can create your own digital files. Leave the folder icon on his computer desktop, and attach a sticky note to his monitor, telling him to open the file when he’s alone. If you give him something of you to masturbate to, he’ll probably not have need for professional pornography any more, and you’ll have a great time making him this very special present.

The masturbation- as- cheating issue runs deeper than the “sex should only be with one person”. Masturbation stems from a primal need to achieve sexual release, and doing that with your partner isn’t always an immediate option. Things get complicated when the tools used to achieve arousal without a human partner take on too much meaning for the masturbater, or when the masturbater loses interest in having sex with his or her partner, due to either overly high expectations, or simply having self-fulfilled to the point of not wanting to have real, interactive intercourse.

Spending too much time with a fantasy can alter the way a person perceives their reality. For example, if a woman spends all of her free time looking at beautiful houses far out of her financial reach, she may become so disgusted with her own house as to either take on too much financial responsibility in the act of purchasing a “nicer” house, or may stop properly maintaining the house she has because she feels that it will never as nice as the ones she lusts after. Similarly, a man who spends a lot of time masturbating to images of beautiful, skinny women like Jenna Jameson may stop finding his partner attractive. Fantasies are wonderful, but if we allow them to consume us, they change the way we view reality.

So the question becomes one of expectations of reality. You may perceive, or think, that your partner is mastubator a lot. The real question is– does it really effect you? Are you not getting the sexual attention you need? Does your partner suddenly think you need to lose weight, even though you’ve not gained an ounce in a decade and he never had a problem with your body before? Does he suddenly prefer blondes? Is he suddenly extremely flirtatious with other female friends, or is he suddenly interested in things that you aren’t comfortable with? If the answer is “yes”, then it’s time to address the situation. But nobody can really answer for another couple whether masturbation is cheating. It is probably a question that you and your partner will revisit over the long years of your life together. The point is, you need to think beyond the porn to how each of your actions is affecting the other person.