Tabu Toypro
Sexuality Blog - Cory Silverberg

I recently received an email which was of a kind I get a couple dozen times a year. The woman writing to me was seriously stressed out about her vaginal taste and smell. She had, in her words, instituted a “no entry policy” for partners, refusing even the most eager oral suitor in favor of other sexual activities because she would get too anxious and too upset at the reactions she anticipated.

I usually respond to these emails by saying that I’m not a believer in some sort of “natural” smell and taste we’re all meant to have and embrace. That just as people have the right to make choices about what their body looks like, they have a right to change how it smells and tastes if they choose.

But I also say that in my experience people’s problems with oral sex taste are often more about anticipation and association than anything else. And I give the following reason.

I've spoken and corresponded with thousands of people over the years about their experiences with oral sex taste and there’s a common narrative I’ve noticed. People talk about how they never liked the taste of oral sex until they met one partner in particular and then it was so hot that they ended up loving it, and now they still do. This story always reminds me of the "I never liked fruitcake until I had this fruitcake" refrain. It seems like it takes one positive juicy encounter and people begin to associate pleasure with

But I don't think what's going on here is that all these people found the right taste that they love. If that’s all it were, it wouldn’t explain why some say that once they started enjoying the taste of performing oral sex on one partner, they found that enjoyment extended to other partners as well. I think that it's about them connecting that taste and the experience of giving oral sex to intense sexual desire and arousal that they felt with that one partner for the first time. The fact is that so many, if not most, of our early sexual experiences lack intense arousal. We’re usually too nervous, scared, high, drunk, or otherwise altered to really enjoy what we’re doing and get fully turned on. And it's possible that in these early experiences we start to associate the smells and tastes of our partners' genitalia with anxiety and fear. With that established we approach each new partner with the same anticipatory anxiety. Something needs to happen to interrupt this cycle. One way that happens is to have an experience giving oral sex that is so personally arousing that we "get" that our partner’s smells and tastes aren't there to ward us off, they are there to draw us closer.

Read more – The Taste of Oral Sex

Shop safe at
Read our Sex Blog!
Quote 0 0