hotnikki
Hey there,
Does anyone have any tips or ideas on ways to seduce my husband? We have been married for nearly 8 years but the spark seems to have vanished from my marriage. I need some ideas on what to do to get the spark back.
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Hank Alvarez
Hotnikki:
My first suggestion would be to talk to him. Without particulars that's the best I can do. You're past the seven year itch so unless he's found someone new it's probably just a matter of rekindling the flame. If you want to go into detail we might be able to give you some better advice. HHH
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P Gell
My Man likes it when I get really aggressive and just jump on him.

Last year he went away on a business trip and I was horny as hell the entire time he was gone. The kids were in bed (and the older ones out) when he got home, and I didn't even wait for him to get his coat off. I dragged him into a room, undid his buckle and zipper and went to town.

It was very very hot, and it was so cute, afterward he was lying on the bed, half dressed looking dazed and he just looked at me and said, "What happened?" LOL!  "I missed you." I said, and rolled over and went to sleep.

Men like to be surprised. Grab him in the garage or the basement with a surprise blow job and see what happens.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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hotnikki
HHH wrote:

Hotnikki:
My first suggestion would be to talk to him. Without particulars that's the best I can do. You're past the seven year itch so unless he's found someone new it's probably just a matter of rekindling the flame. If you want to go into detail we might be able to give you some better advice. HHH


To HHH,
Thanks for replying to my post. I feel as if we have totally lost the spark. I know he loves me and there is no one else but i want our sex life to be spicy like it was when we first got married. He says he wants me to make the moves and be in control. I want to do things to show him i love him and surprise him. What can I do?
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Tabu Toypro
Well part of the problem is he wants you to make the moves and be in control of the particulars. Sex between 2 people should involve both people.

This reminds me of a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode. Larry said to his wife when she asked about sex, "Just assume I'm always in the mood. When YOU want it, just tap me on the shoulder...etc". So of course, she says she wants it right then and he goes, "ehh not tonight".

If he wants surprises, then you'll have to go outside your normal routine. Do you ever dance for him? Perhaps try to learn some seductive dance moves. Dance from afar so he can't touch. Let it build and build. If you're uncomfortable with your moves or need some tips, we have books and dvds to help.

Have you played with toys on him before? Is he opposed to anal play? Once a man experiences the intensity of an orgasm via prostate stimulation, the spark comes back quick! Here's a primer on anal play for men, as well as some prostate stimulators to consider.

You could always pick up a book on positions, like the Bedside Kama Sutra book. Make it a goal to learn one new position a week. Then you guys get to practice all week to get it right. Make it fun and you'll both be anticipating the next position.



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P Gell
Often couples forget to discuss what they might like.  If you want something, take some time, when you are both rested, the kids are asleep or out (if you have any kids) and talk about your sex life. Unlike "talking about the relationship" most men really like talking about your sex lives.

I have no idea what you or your man like, you can start with some of the stuff Pro suggested. We found "talking dirty" always works, just say whatever you are thinking of, or what you think your partner might like to hear. Men really like being surprised with an aggressive advance, most of the time. I don''t think you can go wrong with initiating a blow job, or leading him into the bedroom (or where ever) and starting to please yourself while he watches. Or grab him and have a go at him.

I always feel very attractive when I take care of myself, make up, (I always brush my teeth and hair before entering the bedroom and before he comes in from work) something slutty under your clothes (men seem to like garter belts and stocking, and I know I feel fantastic wearing them, I NEVER wear panty hose anymore, at all. I wear garter and stockings whenever I wear a dress. Sometimes that ALL I wear.) A nice new push up bra will make you feel sexy and feminine. If YOU feel good about the sex, it will give you confidence about taking charge for a while.

If he isn't responding, maybe something is wrong. He could be depressed, maybe some medication he is on is causing problems (some antidepressants, blood pressure meds and some pain meds can cause sexual difficulties, but they can be overcome)

But, for me, the key is feeling confident and attractive. I know if I KNOW I look, smell and feel good, he'll think so too.

Give us some more specifics of what you have tried etc and we can be more helpful.

I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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P Gell
Here's some ideas

Some of my favorite stockings

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Dreamgirl_Fence_Net_Thigh_Highs

back seam stocking are always good

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Dreamgirl_Black_Back_Seam_Thigh_Highs


http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Dreamgirl_Back_Seam_Thigh_Highs_QUEEN


You will need a decent garter belt (I am not seeing one in Tabu, what’s up, guys, these stockings do NOT stay up without a garter belt.  Especially, if you are……active.) but you can get nice ones on Ebay or at most online lingerie stores)

THIS is on my wish list

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Coquette_Fuchsia_Satin_Corset_and_Thong_SMALL

Something like this just says “Slutty” and few men could resist

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Dreamgirl_Black_Fishnet_Bodystocking

More wish list things

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Black_Wet_Look_Gloves

and

http://www.tabutoys.com/product/Wet_Look_Mini_Dress

And we haven’t even started on Toys……*sigh*
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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Hank Alvarez
I think there's an acid test here if you're brave enough to try it. A young lady I knew years ago felt there was a lot missing in her relationship when her lover started falling asleep while she was going down on him. She knew he was tired but she suspected it was over. She finally decided to apply the acid test. She caught him unawares and undistracted, sat him down on the edge of the bed, knelt down in front of him, unzipped his fly and pulled out his flaccid cock. She put it in her mouth and started sucking and licking and nibbling while she stroked his balls. When he didn't get hard she knew it was pretty much over and time to move on. It was a bitter pill for her to swallow but she stopped throwing good years after bad.

If he comes up to the challenge then maybe the coals just cooled off a little and all you need to do is stoke them. HHH
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