TabuToys Moderator
We get quite a few pm's from new Dommes who don't know where to start. Maybe some of our more experienced players could volunteer a few tips on proper domming techniques?  Paging the experts: Artemis? Mistress Valentina? Lord Byron?

(We know you can't reveal your "trade secrets" but I'm sure your advice would be greatly appreciated.)

Thanks!
Quote 0 0
Artemis Orthia
I'd be happy to assist in any way that I can since being a teacher, instructor, and oracle is who I am. Please let me know how I may help.

Anyone who has questions or would like suggestions for resources please email me here or use the message board.

Artemis
Quote 0 0
OK I admit I am one of the confused. I am nowhere near the point where I can call myself a dom but I would like to know how the more experienced of you got your start. Did you train under another dom as a sub like some people have recomended to me or did you just jump in feet first?
Quote 0 0
I'll bite..not that I'm a professional dom but I've done plenty of domming in my time. On ething I've had fun with is public training.  You start your sub off easy with a collar in public. Then you work your way up to nipple clamps while out having dinner in a resturant, anal plug while sitting watching a movie in the theater, remote control egg vaginally or anally that either one of you can use while walking along in public.
Quote 0 0
Artemis Orthia
Nanette wrote:

I'll bite..not that I'm a professional dom but I've done plenty of domming in my time. On ething I've had fun with is public training.  You start your sub off easy with a collar in public. Then you work your way up to nipple clamps while out having dinner in a resturant, anal plug while sitting watching a movie in the theater, remote control egg vaginally or anally that either one of you can use while walking along in public.


Nanette has good suggestions and I am responding because I think that maybe you wanted a little more specific advice on how to get started.
If you already have a girlfriend and she is wants to join you in this then that makes it easier. I would start off by reading about being a Dom. Jack Rinella's "Master's Manual" is a great primer. He is gay and he talks mostly about the gay leather community but his suggestions and recommendations are generally applicable.

Another book, "Learning the Ropes" by Race Bannon is also a worthy read. Sites, such as Fetlife and bondage.com are valuable in that they offer forums and groups where you can post questions and/or read other people's stories and questions.

One very important thing to understand is that this is NOT a game! There are serious consequences that can cause injury (emotionally and physically) and even death. Do NOT play at it. Have fun, certainly, but be safe. There are certain rules one should follow especially for beginners. Look up SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).

Getting a mentor is strongly recommended but not always easy to do. Most people I know are very busy and have little time to mentor but some do. Be polite when you ask and don't ask just anyone out of the blue. If your girl is bi or bi curious, you may want to elicit the help of a known female sub to help mentor her too. You could go to a Domme or a pro-Domme but some men feel threatened by that.

As Nanette stated, and especially if you have a girlfriend, start out with small things like the collar and the plug. See how you feel and how she feels; if you feel empowered and enjoy the Dom experience at that level then gradually increase your dominance over her.

Feel free to post more in reply or send me a private message for more assistance.
Quote 0 0