Tabu Toypro
via collegecandy

You know what’s super awkward? Sex. All that nudity and rubbing and body parts all over the place. It’s a recipe for disaster. There are about a billion things that can go wrong, from cutting open your head on the corner of a dresser (been there) to dropping a wad of drool on your man’s face (done that). And if we took a moment to truly reflect on what it’s like to fart during the entire thing, well, I’m pretty sure we’d all just stop sexing all together.

I’m sure most people don’t put as much thought into the intricacies of sexy time as I do, but I am sure that plenty of sexually active adults have considered the multitude of things that could go wrong during the act. Does everyone have the same fears (babies and disease)? Do guys fears differ from a girl’s? Is a queef as big a deal to everyone else as it is to me (and do other people laugh uncontrollably when one happens)?

I asked my friend who is a boy to give me his thoughts...

We'd love to hear your bedroom nightmares in the comments:
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Hank Alvarez
Oh don't feel bad. There are a lot of guy's nightmares too. Like holding back gas when your lover is going down on you and feeling inside like you're going to explode. Fortunately you don't. How about sucking or nibbling too hard or for too long on your lover's breasts when they happen to be extra tender? How about almost de-nippling your lover's boob with your diving watch while you're moving around in bed? Like Forrest Gump said, Shit happens, and when it does you need a lot of forgiveness. Just thank God it doesn't happen all the time. If it did we'd all be celibate and we wouldn't have to worry. Hank
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Adriana
I think we all worry about the " what ifs" during sex because it has such a potential to be embarrassing and possibly even relationship-ending (whatever that relationship may be) but either you forge ahead anyway or you spend your days in a bubble room where nothing can go wrong.
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Tabu Toypro
No one's had any funny sex disasters? Come on - someone needs to lighten this place up!
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Olehippy
Needless to say there are more than likely more of these than will ever be told. Some are things that happen that are considered gross or unclean so many will not ever talk about them, other are just to embrassing to talk about. I will dive on the sword and provide a few.

Farting. Now this is not only Gass but trapped air. More than once while having sex I have slipped out of either hole and when re-entry takes place  the loud BURBBBBBB of a pussy or ass fart occures. Usually this is funny but with some it can be embarrasing .  On the other hand butt farts that contain orders are not funny and can ruin the moment.  I was well into orally pleasing this one young thing, nibbling on her clit, 2 fingers up her pussy and one up her ass and receiving no complaints but much encouragement to keep it up.  Just as she climaxed she stiffened up and bore down and blew my finger out of her ass and farted for a good 6 seconds. Not that it was bad enough being evacted that way within seconds the smell was that of rottening green apples and dead road kill.  This ruined not only the moment but the rest of the night for me.

Surprise, Surprise,  Had been dating one girl and due to a brief illness all sex was canceled which was understandable to me.  After seven day of anti biotics and rest she was back to normal of so she thought.  She invited me over for dinner to thank me for taking care of her and she did a wonderful job.  Needless to say a week without sex had both of us on edge and it wasn't long after dinner that we hit the sack. Once again I was doing my impression of Baron Muchhousin and we were both enjoying it. About the time I stick my tongue up her hole and drag it back out I feel something on my tongue. I sat up and pulled it off my tongue and it looke like a chunk of cottage cheese, she freaked out as I examined it and ran for the bathroom slamming the door shut.  She came out crying and applogetic as all get out telling me that due to the drugs she must have got a yeast infection, and then it was my turn to run to the bathroom.

This moment actually led to a trip to the hospital ER.  While on break between sets of a show, a very aggressive young thing wanted to have sex and the only place to do so with any privacy was under the outdoor stage. We got under it and found a 4x8 piece of plywood to lay on and both stipped as quickly as possible.  She had me lye on my back and mounted me and road me hard and put me away wet, and I mean that literally.  Seems the plywood was actually particael board and I now had wood splinter not only in my back but my ass, thighs, and legs.  I was bleeding like a stuck hog. Her knees were as bad but I got the worst of it. The ER staff pulled over 150 splinters out of me and 40 or of her. Funny I didn't feel a thing until we had both come,  but I did learn a lesson from that one.

This one really took the cake but I wasn't the one it happened to.  It was a buddy of mine and his girlfriend and at the time they were both 17.  They had been out walking in the near by national forrest and found a place where they though no one could see them. Well they were right about that but after getting naked and making love, six hours later they both broke out in a full body rash. Both arrived at the local ER, the only one in town about 20 minutes apart with parents in tow and were rushed into rooms upon arrival.  Seems they had got naked and layed in a patch of poison ivy,  and not a inch of their bodies had been spared.  Needless to say his dick and balls were fully covered as was her ass and pussy lips but worst off was that she was infected internally which when her parent found out there was a bit get together in the waiting room and a lot of yelling and threats made.  Both got over it but I don't think that either has ever made love outside of a bedroom since.
Just a ole hippy at heart, been around the block more that I care to think about. Lived a full life and looking to add to it. Memories are wonderful but making them is much more fun.
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Hank Alvarez
I'm sure that almost anyone can top this- but did you ever, in the heat of passion, call your present lover by the first name of your former lover? Oops! I did, and that one was the worst blunders I can remember. A shrink would probably have a blast with that scenario but a friend of mine said, "The cure was to use nonspecific terms of endearment: babe, dear, honey, lover, sweety, etc. That's solved the problem for me since then but it still makes my skin crawl every time I think about it. Come on now, some of you have probably done a lot worse. Hank
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Tabu Toypro
Years ago my boyfriend and I were in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. We were having record breaking sex and all of a sudden the maintenance crew started up their equipment right outside his flat - at first I thought, "cool - get louder" then I realized the blinds were cracked at the perfect angle for the most perfect view. Now some people might have liked it, and nowadays I may even too, but at the time I was an insecure girl with a skinny body and I was mortified!
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Olehippy
Geeze Louise got more comment here than any where go figure lol
Just a ole hippy at heart, been around the block more that I care to think about. Lived a full life and looking to add to it. Memories are wonderful but making them is much more fun.
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