Needless to say there are more than likely more of these than will ever be told. Some are things that happen that are considered gross or unclean so many will not ever talk about them, other are just to embrassing to talk about. I will dive on the sword and provide a few. Farting. Now this is not only Gass but trapped air. More than once while having sex I have slipped out of either hole and when re-entry takes place the loud BURBBBBBB of a pussy or ass fart occures. Usually this is funny but with some it can be embarrasing . On the other hand butt farts that contain orders are not funny and can ruin the moment. I was well into orally pleasing this one young thing, nibbling on her clit, 2 fingers up her pussy and one up her ass and receiving no complaints but much encouragement to keep it up. Just as she climaxed she stiffened up and bore down and blew my finger out of her ass and farted for a good 6 seconds. Not that it was bad enough being evacted that way within seconds the smell was that of rottening green apples and dead road kill. This ruined not only the moment but the rest of the night for me. Surprise, Surprise, Had been dating one girl and due to a brief illness all sex was canceled which was understandable to me. After seven day of anti biotics and rest she was back to normal of so she thought. She invited me over for dinner to thank me for taking care of her and she did a wonderful job. Needless to say a week without sex had both of us on edge and it wasn't long after dinner that we hit the sack. Once again I was doing my impression of Baron Muchhousin and we were both enjoying it. About the time I stick my tongue up her hole and drag it back out I feel something on my tongue. I sat up and pulled it off my tongue and it looke like a chunk of cottage cheese, she freaked out as I examined it and ran for the bathroom slamming the door shut. She came out crying and applogetic as all get out telling me that due to the drugs she must have got a yeast infection, and then it was my turn to run to the bathroom. This moment actually led to a trip to the hospital ER. While on break between sets of a show, a very aggressive young thing wanted to have sex and the only place to do so with any privacy was under the outdoor stage. We got under it and found a 4x8 piece of plywood to lay on and both stipped as quickly as possible. She had me lye on my back and mounted me and road me hard and put me away wet, and I mean that literally. Seems the plywood was actually particael board and I now had wood splinter not only in my back but my ass, thighs, and legs. I was bleeding like a stuck hog. Her knees were as bad but I got the worst of it. The ER staff pulled over 150 splinters out of me and 40 or of her. Funny I didn't feel a thing until we had both come, but I did learn a lesson from that one. This one really took the cake but I wasn't the one it happened to. It was a buddy of mine and his girlfriend and at the time they were both 17. They had been out walking in the near by national forrest and found a place where they though no one could see them. Well they were right about that but after getting naked and making love, six hours later they both broke out in a full body rash. Both arrived at the local ER, the only one in town about 20 minutes apart with parents in tow and were rushed into rooms upon arrival. Seems they had got naked and layed in a patch of poison ivy, and not a inch of their bodies had been spared. Needless to say his dick and balls were fully covered as was her ass and pussy lips but worst off was that she was infected internally which when her parent found out there was a bit get together in the waiting room and a lot of yelling and threats made. Both got over it but I don't think that either has ever made love outside of a bedroom since.
Just a ole hippy at heart, been around the block more that I care to think about. Lived a full life and looking to add to it. Memories are wonderful but making them is much more fun.