Someone asked me to share my sexual revelation but I can't find the thread.

Its not exactly an epiphany. Its pretty simple really. One day I realised... Just do it!

I've never really been into sex. I didn't hate it, I always orgasmed but I didn't care too much if I wasn't doing it.

It was always an under the covers, lights off, don't let him see my sex face, act.

My partner and I had been together about 4 years. We had 2 small kids and occasionally he would complain that our sex life was "boring".

We hardly ever did it because my daughter was always around, she slept in our bed most of the time, we were tired, we couldn't be bothered, then I was pregnant, then we had a new born... typical excuses really.

Our relationship was going stale. I wasn't sexual enough for him and he wasn't affectionate enough for me. He's an emotional retard. He doesn't kiss me. EVER. We give each other pecks but there are NO passionate kisses. He doesn't like it. He has to concentrate too hard. He's never really done it so he's pretty bad at it when he tries. He's almost 40 and I still can't believe he didn't kiss his previous GF's. He was with the same woman through most of his 20's and I think she's the one that has destroyed him emotionally.

Ok. Fair enough. Weird but ok. I can accept that. And I did. I was resigned to 1 proper kiss a year... on new years. lol.

So back to the sex. One day I decided ... Just do it! Make time for it. Get into it. Don't worry about letting go and looking like a fool. So I did.

I started watching porn, reading erotic fiction and trying new things.

Its been great! lol. He's very happy. In fact I think I scared him at first because he'd created a monster.

(I should add that about a month after my sexual awakening I found out he'd met a chick online and was basically have text sex with her. It went on for a couple of months. They never met in person or talked on the phone and he ended it before I found out. But it absolutely shattered me and derailed our relationship for a couple of months. Strangely the great sex stayed in place. Like it was separate to the emotional pain I was feeling. He made many promises then to work on showing his feelings etc.).

So its been probably 6 months now. I'm over his betrayal. The sex is still great. But I'm getting a bit sick of the all talk and no action. I'm still waiting for him to start working on his emotional issues. I figure I've changed for him, he needs to change for me.

It sounds worse than it is. He's a wonderful guy. Very fun and funny. A great Dad. He helps around the house. He's my best friend. But sometimes I can feel the distance.

Anyway.... they didn't exactly head in the direction I was planning. lol.

As I said I was lights off, don't look at my vagina, sex.

Now its grab a flash light of you want!! lol. Nothing turns me on more than when he's watching everything he does to me. It turns him on and that turns me on.

This forum makes my toes curl
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Just do it is a great philosophy for all things in life. IT's so easy to let life pass you by
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Hank Alvarez
Wasn't that Nike's logo for a while? I think it worked for them. HHH
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Tabu Toypro
Hell it worked for Tiger!


I'm so glad that you took the initiative here and just made some changes. Maybe he will follow suit. I realize it's been 6 months, but how long did it take for you to make a noticeable change? Hang in there - it sounds like you're in a good place, regardless of the cyber-fling, and that you honestly want to make this work.

I say just grab him and make him make out with you. Maybe he'll remember how fantastic and erotic kissing your lover can be. Baby steps.
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Tabu Toypro wrote:

I say just grab him and make him make out with you. Maybe he'll remember how fantastic and erotic kissing your lover can be. Baby steps.

Yep. I reckon thats what I need to do. I might get him drunk first. lol
This forum makes my toes curl
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Plum Pudding
I agree Tabu. I am glad , because you should just do it and enjoy it. Give him some time just as you opened up  and dealt with things he may as well.
LIve everyday as if it is your last.
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