My husband and I have some friends that we really enjoy flirting with.  We'd like to take it to the next level, but we don't know how far to go and how to make it all happen and maintain our friendship.  Help?!
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This is a trickier if you're dealing with a vanilla couple that's not in the lifestyle. You could just be straightforward about it but if they aren't interested it could put a strain on the friendship. Just bring it up in conversation like "heard about swingers.." but make no judgements and try to gage their reaction. If they act offended just innocently point to the tire swing on your porch and ask them what they were talking about 
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"Martha, your pound cake is amazing...and speaking of pounding..."
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TabuToys Moderator
Nina_1978 wrote:

My husband and I have some friends that we really enjoy flirting with.  We'd like to take it to the next level, but we don't know how far to go and how to make it all happen and maintain our friendship.  Help?!


Nina, communication is key in a situation like this.  Are you certain that the other couple reciprocates?  Before spending the night together, talk on the phone or meet up and discuss what you are each looking for.  Do you want to swap spouses, like in closed swinging, or would you all like to join in together, (often called open swinging?)  How far may things really go?  Many couples enjoy soft swinging-- flirting and physical teasing with another couple, but keeping intercourse private and with only your own partner. 
If you all decide together that you would like to try to take it as far as possible, remember that if one person says “stop”, you should all cease activity promptly.  Do not harass the person who put on the brakes-- you want this to be safe and comfortable for everybody involved and you do not want to jeopardize any relationships.  If you would like to prepare yourself for the evening and get a sense of what to expect, and what toys and items you should have available, check out Nina Hartley's Guide to the Ultimate Sex Party.  She'll teach you tips and tricks to make the night go smoothly.
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Thanks for all the advice! So after alot of discussion my husband and I decided that while swapping does sound exciting we'd prefer not to try it with this couple and possibly risk our friendship with them. Soooooooo...drumroll please...we went online and hooked up with a lifestyle group! It's about an hour away from where we live. We are going to our first party this weekend!!!!!! wooohooo! If you don't mind sharing, what's polite etiquette and what's off limits?
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Tabu Toypro
Nina_1978 wrote:

Thanks for all the advice! So after alot of discussion my husband and I decided that while swapping does sound exciting we'd prefer not to try it with this couple and possibly risk our friendship with them. Soooooooo...drumroll please...we went online and hooked up with a lifestyle group! It's about an hour away from where we live. We are going to our first party this weekend!!!!!! wooohooo! If you don't mind sharing, what's polite etiquette and what's off limits?


Hey Nina -

Check out this great forum piece to help with your question about swinging etiquette: http://forums.tabutoys.com/community/index.php?topic=393.0

Be safe and have fun!!
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