tinam

 what would be going on with my boyfriend who never wants to have sex? 14  votes

 bored in relationship 5 votes
35%
 medical 0 votes
0%
 not attracted to me 7 votes
50%
 same ol hole no matter how much you dress it up 0 votes
0%
 wanting another women 2 votes
14%
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my boyfriend is 29, i'm 42, we have been together 7 years. he will go a month before i finally bitch enough and he gives in.i have been performing oral sex on him and has made an excuse to not continue.he says it's not me .that he is attracted to me.he has no problem with an erection. he says it is nothing medical.  he acts very embrassed to talk about it. makes excuses for the inactivity.this is horriable way to feel for me and i'm sure him as well.two physcialy fit people should not live this way!
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hogtime
Have you ever asked him if he's gay?or having an affair?or thinking of the two,could be he's Bi and doesn't know how to tell you and not hurt your feelings.You didn't state if this has been going on for the past seven years or just started.talking things out goes a long way,mabey your going in diffrent directions at this point in life,but both of you are at your sexual prime and you deserve to get as much as you want even more if you ask me!
Times short,let's ride!
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Sometimes you really have to be brutally honest with yourself. Is he really that into you? If he's been in this relationship for 7 years he started out with you very young. Think about the person you were when you were 21 and the person you became when you were 29. Two completely different people!

I say this because I was in a similar situation, but reversed, with a man who was 9 years my senior. I respected him, I cared for him, but after a few years I wasn't INTO him. I didn't feel attracted to him (he always had to initiate sex) yet I was terrified to leave him because of the affection I felt for him, and the 5 years of good memories we accumulated together. I always had to convince him that I loved him. It wasn't his age that was the issue, I just grew out of the relationship and he was becoming my security blanket.

One day I woke up and realized it wasn't fair to either of us. It was hard but I think that if I hadn't have done that he would still be walking around with blinders on, asking the same questions that you are.

P.S: "Finding you attractive" and "feeling attracted to you" are two completely different things.
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demonchild
It may not be you as he says. I have been married 2 years and me and my husband are both 21. I am a nymphomaniac and he doesnt like sex. He enjoys it when it happens but he only wants it like 1 every month or so. Some guys, believe it or not, just dont like sex as much as women. Maybe he is just not THAT into it. If you pester him too much it may make him uncomfortable. Just try discussing things with him and see if maybe he may be bored or just not into it.
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itsme
tinam wrote:

my boyfriend is 29, i'm 42, we have been together 7 years. he will go a month before i finally bitch enough and he gives in.i have been performing oral sex on him and has made an excuse to not continue.he says it's not me .that he is attracted to me.he has no problem with an erection. he says it is nothing medical.  he acts very embrassed to talk about it. makes excuses for the inactivity.this is horriable way to feel for me and i'm sure him as well.two physcialy fit people should not live this way!
This is simple girl...lay off the bj's...me and my husband has been married for almost ten years,and I had to cut his bj's down to special occassions,or when I want to be nice...christmas,new years,valentines day,anniversary,father's day,his birthday,and about six in between.I know it sounds selfish,but that's what they are being,gettin their's and not letting you get yours.It will work believe me.
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sweetestthing07
my advice stop giving head. tease him but make him do other things with you  first before you'll finish
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Tabu Toypro
Approach this subject carefully with him. Do you think he is anxiety prone about his performance? In cases where the man is extremely anxious, even a normal enquiry by the woman might provoke more anxiety. Therefore, be warm, patient, nurturing, and facilitate relaxation in your partner in order to get him off the anxiety mode.
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Badboy_69
Perform as much oral as you can

(with other men.)
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