DAISYJ
I am new here and was not sure where to post this.
I have been married for 18 years. I have tried to give my husband ideas , directions on what feels good, I bought us both something from the sex store so he wouldn't think I was saying he wasn't getting the job done etc... I have NEVER told him this, he has a huge male ego!  But bottom line is, he sux at sex. I am to the point that I would rather use a vibrator when he is not there than to have sex with him. This is really starting to effect our marrage, I don't feel close to him at all. He feels like a roommate.  I am at my sexual peak and I want it often. He could have sex 1 or 2 times a month and he is fine with that. I have never ever cheated on him and at one point I even asked the Dr if there was something she could give me to kill my sex drive.

I have given him massages and devoted nights just to his pleasure; handjobs, blowjobs etc. I love to give oral but it would be nice if ONCE in a while he would return the favor. His idea of foreplay is saying, why don't you hop over here on this. He always wants the same position; me on top. Which I don't mind, hell, I am up for ANYTHING. But I have never had an orgasm with him. I have suggested we try something new saying how much he might enjoy this or that.... and he does as long as he doesn't have to do any of the work. As long as he gets to lay there and enjoy it, he is up for it.  Does anyone have any ideas other than more sex toys?  I guess I could just buy stock in sex toys and earn my money back. 
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dreamer60
Well, Daisy...hmmmm. If he's not open to your ideas and his ego prevents you from getting the message across I'm not sure what you can do to improve his performance. I was married to the same man for 18 years too and the sex got down right dull. He did take some suggestions, but they didn't last long. I too got to the point that masturbation was better than having sex with him and talks with other women who got hooked up with him after our divorce revealed it wasn't me...but it was him.
I have found with my Roadie that the key to a successful and enjoyable sex life is communication. We talk about everything including our fantasies and desires. We are always open and honest with our questions and answers about past experiences.
Have you tried simply using a vibrator in front of him? Just get the toys out and try and seduce his senses by giving him a show.
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Hank Alvarez
Sex is work, but it sounds like you've tried to make it worth it. Does he have any health issues that may be interfering with your love life? There's probably a lot more that we'll need to know to give you any kind of sound advice.
Have you considered a marriage counselor or a sex therapist who practices couples counseling? You sound like you have a very common problem that often ends in divorce. And that may well be another option but if you really love the guy you might want to save that for last. A friend had the same problem took on a younger lover who came over once a week and fucked her brains out while her husband was at work but that ended in disaster. I hope you find an answer because you sound like a gal that deserves a lot better. Hank
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tuffty


  I am no expert on sex !!! ....lol...having been married for 25 years and never cheated i,m not really the kind of guy who can give advice !!!....lmao...BUT if i was your hubby and you just said to me .....get down on your knees and give me some oral and make good cos i,m really eeally F - - king horny i think i would just love it ....lol..i,d be on my knees doing what makes you gasp out ......tell him !!!!.....say to him i need a really good lickin make me explode......be hot and rude with him.....make him think !!....make him understand that you are just hot hot hot and need a to taken care of ?.....lol.....maybe say you have been having some funny turns and your sex drive has increased and you need quality not quantity !!!!.....it sounds like every mans dream to me....lol....go for it .....get him in bed and say right get your head down and don,t come back up till i,m good and finished......lol...sorry i don,t mean to make it sound like a little problem or a funny problem ....i do feel for you .....but i can,t help thinking maybe your being alittle more agressive and demanding may turn things around .....really show him your enjoying it .....give it some yelling when your ready to explode....maybe he,ll want to do it more often !!!....goodluck....wish i was your hubby !!!!......lmao....phewwwwwwwwwwww would be fun.....lol 
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Is all that your life will ever be 
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Plum Pudding
[quote author=dreamer60 link=topic=3338.msg9232#msg9232 date=1266751416]
I have found with my Roadie that the key to a successful and enjoyable sex life is communication. We talk about everything including our fantasies and desires. We are always open and honest with our questions and answers about past experiences."

I agree big time with dreamer. communication and i add openeness is the key and it has to be on both ends.  My husband and i both discuss our wants, dislikes, fantasies. it makes for a great sex life together. I hope something changes and that you all can work this problem out.
LIve everyday as if it is your last.
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Tabu Toypro
Oh Daisy, sorry to hear about your troubles. Here's what I gathered - He has a huge ego. He wants you to service him. You haven't told him how you feel.

Like the previous comments have stated - SAY SOMETHING. He's obviously cool with your sex life as is and it doesn't seem like he's going to have an epiphany any time soon. If you want this to work, you've got to tell him exactly how you feel.

You might want to put on your sexiest lingerie (complete from head to toe, with heels) and like tuffty said - make him come and get it. Enough of him laying there while you do the work. Not fair, time to get him involved. Tease him from afar, if he wants to touch, he'll have to get up and physically take part.

I really hope this helps. I can't imagine, well yes I can. I've dated one like this before. Needless to say, he's history.
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Hank Alvarez
You might want to subscribe to, "OYSTERS & CHOCOLATE." It's free and they come up with some good ideas. Hank
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