PrincessKLS
Lately I don't really have sexual fantasies where I'm an active participant. Sometimes I just watch people and I pretty much sleep with the celebrities in my dreams. It's weird. But then again I've been having a lot of issues in the past 2 years that have kept me from indulging in my fantasies so much. And not too long ago I really got into my fantasy life and seriously wanted it to become reality but because of some issues it's caused I tend to be afraid to really let loose right now and right I'm also trying different antidepressants that I know can really alter my thoughts and I'm scared but I need the pills to get out of a shitty situation right now.

Anyway, I know I don't usually bring anything like this up here because this supposed to be a place of relaxation but maybe someone on here can help me see if having these types of fantasies can be normal? And the weird thing is when I watch people have sex or make up an erotic story in my head, I see them doing "abnormal" stuff like pegging and usually such severe imagery of S&M doesnt turn me on but now that I use vibrators and other toys to masturbate now, I think about that most of the time when I'm doing it, but I can't imagine doing that to someone else, especially to the various celebs I dream about.
Quote 0 0
Hank Alvarez
Princess: Your sound concerned and I really wouldn't be. I think we tend to fantasize in cycles. It may have a lot to do with what's going on in your life. Perhaps through masturbation you're reached a point of equilibrium where your mind is at ease. Just enjoy what you've got unless it's really troubling you. HHH
Quote 0 0
Tabu Toypro
The mind is a pretty powerful machine, Princess. I think your fantasies where you aren't a participant are fine, but you said there were issues prohibiting you from letting loose and that you are afraid of something. I say avoid it. Try a whole new routine. If you have pornography, try to watch a little while playing with your toys. Imagine yourself in that scene so you have a safe "off" button if it starts to mess with your head.

Have you tried reading erotica? Reading is wonderful because it forces you to take yourself to new places and can inspire different thoughts and fantasies. I think you need to stick to healthy fantasies where you are the star. The meds may be wacking out your perspective. Try have more fun with your fantasies - don't let them haunt you.



Shop safe at Tabutoys.com
Read our Sex Blog!
Quote 0 0
PrincessKLS
Well last night I actually had a fantasy that I was active in, yes with a celeb but I don't want to say who. And I feel but today my thoughts aren't really centered on sex so much, but I just wanted to pop in to say that.
Quote 0 0
Clairebear
PrincessKLS wrote:

Well last night I actually had a fantasy that I was active in, yes with a celeb but I don't want to say who. And I feel but today my thoughts aren't really centered on sex so much, but I just wanted to pop in to say that.


Who's the celeb? I promise not to laugh
Quote 0 0
P Gell
Princess, "Ravishment Fantasies" are pretty common in women (and in some men.) They are particularly common, I have heard, in women who have been raised in sexually oppressive environments (heavy Evangelical, Pentecostal or Catholic etc households)  They used to be referred to as "rape fantasies" but as NO woman wants rape so the more PC label of "Ravishment Fantasy" is applied. But the fantasy of being Our of Control or pretending to be forced against your will, while still being VERY MUCH IN CONTROL of everything that is going on is so common, as long as you are emotionally healthy in other ways, I see no harm in these fantasies.

A lot of us have them. When you start partnered sex, it is probably best to NOT share these right away. Younger men, and even less experienced older men may not know what to do with these, and feel uncomfortable. But, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them.

I have also found that when I am on medication which makes orgasm more difficult my fantasies tend towards the bizarre and B/D, probably because I need more of a "boost" to get over the edge.

There are antidepressants which do NOT have an effect on orgasm, you may want to talk to your doctor about these.

I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
Quote 0 0
P Gell
Also, since you haven[t actually had sex yet, I don't think voyeuristic fantasies are all that uncommon. As of the present, (if you watch porn even occasionally) the only sex you have been involved in is watching other people, so you may find as your mature sexually your fantasies will change also.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
Quote 0 0
PrincessKLS
P Gell wrote:

Also, since you haven[t actually had sex yet, I don't think voyeuristic fantasies are all that uncommon. As of the present, (if you watch porn even occasionally) the only sex you have been involved in is watching other people, so you may find as your mature sexually your fantasies will change also.


Funny you say mature sexually because at least on a physical level I was one of the early maturing girls in my school growing up. I think that what freaked me family out so bad and the anti sexual discussion began and basically suppressed it.
Quote 0 0
Tabu Toypro
Parenting isn't easy and usually they want to keep their babies innocent for as long as they can. Don't people realize that the more you tell your kids not to do something, they will probably go for it full speed ahead? Instead of suppressing sexual thoughts, better to steer the conversation into, "since you're developing and boys will start to notice you..." and then talk about protection and self esteem.

Shop safe at Tabutoys.com
Read our Sex Blog!
Quote 0 0
P Gell
You are right, Pro. I don't know what it is with some families when they feel "threatened" by a girl who grows her secondary sexual characteristics on the young side. All of my girls have, and The Man and I just handle it the way Pro described. I just bought "What is happening to my body?" for my little one, as she is physically maturing.

Princess, I also meant as your actually sexual experience matures as well, your fantasies might. You may find that "participant" sex scares you right now, but once you start doing it, you may find it is not as intimidating, and your fantasy life may (or may not) follow.

As long as you are approaching it in a healthy manner (and even Ravishment fantasies can be approached in a healthy way, basically NOT feeling "Guilty" about them) just goes with what works for you.

As you mature and gain experience and eventually have sex with boys or girls (whatever works for you) you'll see what else works well for you.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
Quote 0 0
P Gell
Pro, you are SO right.
Tabu Toypro wrote:

Parenting isn't easy



I don't understand parents who don't realize they are doing their children a disservice by NOT educating them in healthy sexuality. There is no need to go into a lot of detail, but telling them (in a Teachable Moment) gradually, what their bodies are capable of, why people have sex, dispelling myths and guilt, letting them know they are free to keep their eventual sex lives to themselves, or ask you questions if they get confused is SO much better. There is no "One Talk" just an ongoing dialogue. Just as there is with anything else,. I think if you approach sex as very matter of factually with kids, "Everybody does this, it feels good, you can make babies with it, if you choose to, or not, and it's a healthy, normal, and JOYFUL part of life" things go well.

We know too many families who have repressed their kids, and ended up grandparents too early or worse. While I have nothing against sex workers, an acquaintance of ours (who practices the "say nothing except DON'T DO IT form or sex ed at home.) has a daughter who started working at a Gentleman's Club at the age or 15 or 16. Had a baby, had to go on Public Aid, Baby Daddy left her, more bad stuff happened, and then, not being able to find a job to support her son, went back to the Club, (barely legal at this point) and the whole thing probably could have been avoided if SOMEONE had been responsible in their parenting.

I could go on all day about this.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
Quote 0 0
PrincessKLS
Well they could also turn out like me and have way too many confusing messages growing up that they just avoid sex and/or relationships altogether. And I know most 26 year olds aren't virgins but I have my reasons and I'm very open to losing my virginity but I need more of a support system in place.
Quote 0 0
Tabu Toypro
I applaud that. Karma points
Shop safe at Tabutoys.com
Read our Sex Blog!
Quote 0 0