Sorry these are more political jokes but they are funny!

"It looks like the Senate and the president have finally agreed on an immigration bill. ... This one looks like it could become law and, of course, nobody likes it. The conservatives say the bill gives amnesty to the illegals. The liberals say it doesn't go far enough to protect the hardworking immigrants here in America. And the L.A.P.D. doesn't know who to beat up." --Bill Maher

"The liberals are saying that this guest worker program ... is really just a way to depress wages and create a permanent underclass of exploited labor. To which the president said, 'And the problem is?'" --Bill Maher

"They're going to have to pay a $5,000 fine. Where are these people going to get five grand? I mean, what are the chances Wal-Mart's going to give them a raise?" --Jay Leno

"Even though (Mexican) President Fox has only been in the United States two days, today the INS said they have no way to find him." --Jay Leno

"The president of Mexico has arrived in the U.S., thanks to some nifty fence climbing. ... I thought this was encouraging. He offered to take President Bush's job for $3 an hour cash." --David Letterman

"The Mexican government has been accused of encouraging its citizens to illegally immigrate to the United States. They say they're not. I'm not so sure. Someone sent me a picture of this sign in Mexico [on screen: Salma Hayek. 90 miles]." --Jay Leno

"Mexican President Vicente Fox arrived in the U.S. today. So, it's official. He's the last one. Turn out the lights. They are all here now." --Jay Leno

"The Senate has passed a resolution to make English the official language of the United States. Today President Bush said this is the 'goodest news' he's heard in a long time." --Jay Leno

"The Senate voted to make English the national language of the United States. The vote drew protests from several immigrant groups and one governor of California." --Conan O'Brien

"Even though it's a little bit controversial, President Bush supports the effort to make English our national language. The president says making English our national language is not 'discriminatious.'" --Conan O'Brien

"The Bush administration is tightening immigration now. In order to cross the United States, you have to have legal documentation. If you want to get into the United States you have to have legal documentation or a 95 mile an hour fast ball." --David Letterman

"As part of the ongoing immigration debate, the Senate on Thursday voted 64 to 34 to make English America's national language. Coming in second: '70s jive talk." --Tina Fey

"Immigration is the big issue right now. Earlier today, the Senate voted to build a 370-mile fence along the Mexican border. ... Experts say a 370-mile fence is the perfect way to protect a border that is 1,900 miles long." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush called for the National Guard to patrol the U.S./Mexican border. The guards will track down and find illegals. That's not their job. They're trained to defend our country -- not track down and find people. Let's be honest, the Guard couldn't even track down and find President Bush when he was in the National Guard." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said today he has nothing but respect for Mexico and its people and he will always speak the truth to them. Here's my question: When can we get that deal?" --Jay Leno

"Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says he's not sure if his grandparents entered the United States legally. As a result, President Bush has sent the entire Gonzales family back to Ireland." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said that these troops will be at the border temporarily. You know, just until Mexico is ready to govern itself. Sound familiar?" --Jay Leno

"President Bush also said in his speech that immigrants have to learn English. The immigrants said, 'Hey, you first.'" --Jay Leno

"The Mexican border will now have surveillance cameras and motion detectors. Our borders will be as secure as The Gap." --David Letterman

[Clip of Bush: America needs to conduct this debate on immigration in a reasoned and respectful tone...We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger or playing on anyone's fears] Jon Stewart: "That's what terrorism and gay people are for."

"6,000 guardsmen deployed to the border. The guard, of course, terribly strapped, with so many of its members deployed to Iraq. Boy, I don't know what gave the guys who signed up for the National Guard the impression you can just join it and not have to do any work [on screen: a photo of Pres. Bush from his National Guard days]" --Jon Stewart
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