P Gell
This is maybe a sensitive issue. What have people done to make things easier when you have kids around? I don't want my kids to think there is anything wrong with Mama and Daddy making love, on the other hand, I don't want to advertise it, either.

My kids have, like all kids, heard us at times. (My oldest, who has NO inhibitions and is now grown and moved out said to me recently, "You and Dad to at it a lot. Gross." I've gotten questions, and although we are open about sex in general, MY sex is a little more of a sensitive issue. We bought our youngest a white noise machine, after she started to ask if I was "crying" at night or early in the morning. I told her Daddy and I were loving each other and it was private time for the two of us to love each other. (I'm loud, I can't help it.) We also have a vaporizer in the hall which I turn UP to make more background noise. Also, the plug in vibe, which has become an essential part of our love life makes some, but not a lot of noise, but it can't be passed off as much of anything else. I don't want my youngest to think that machinery is a necessary part of anyone's sex life. It didn't used to be. *sigh*

As our oldest has moved out, we are seriously thinking of moving the youngest out of the Nursery (which is right across the hall from us) and down the hall, just for some privacy. She knows to knock (and seems to usually know NOT to even knock when we are making love, unless it is an emergency) but she has a tendency to use the bathroom ATTACHED to our bedroom, and I simply can't relax while she is in there, sitting three feet from my head, with just a thin wall between us.  The kid reads on the pot, and stalls and it drives me crazy. I am about to start a "If you have to spend a long time in the bathroom after Mama and Daddy have gone to bed, use the kid's bathroom downstairs." Is that mean?

What, if anything do people with kids do to make it less embarrassing? Our kids know what sex is and that we do it, but I don't really need them to know we are doing it when it is happening.

I hope this isn't too much of a "Taboo" (lol) subject.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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Tabu Toypro
Great topic! I don't have little ones so I'm not the best one to answer, but we still deal with noise issues. (I do have a teenager) You can hear everything in this house and man! silent sex sucks! Sometimes it's kind of cool because you're dealing with restraint, albeit vocal restraint, but still - I hear you - the thin wall factor is constantly going through the mind and relaxing is difficult.

As far as asking your little one to use the kid's bathroom - I think it's totally appropriate. Especially if you have it decorated in some way that appeals to her. Maybe have a pile of her books in there, since she's a toilet reader But of course now you're going to be waiting to hear that flush and the comfort of hearing her footsteps making it safely back to bed.

I got nothing else! Anyone else have some worthy suggestions?
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P Gell
toy pro said: "But of course now you're going to be waiting to hear that flush and the comfort of hearing her footsteps making it safely back to bed." EXACTLY! You must know how reassuring it is. "Thank GOD. She's in bed." Then I pray she doesn't want to come in our room for water. (We only drink bottled water, we live kind of rural with a nasty well, it's undrinkable.) She usually doesn't.

We make love quite frequently, so it's an issue.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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Tabu Toypro
I suppose putting a lock on the door would just raise questions. I guess you can't exactly do the scarf on the doorknob college trick, huh?  Maybe use something to muffle the sound a bit? Lots of pillows on the bed? Throw one at the bottom of the door for more muffling? I like the white noise machine idea - bet it at least helps to get a good night's sleep.

Have you considered lacing her juice with Tylenol PM?

I am SO kidding, you know...
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P Gell
The kid is immune to benadryl and Scotch (JOKING!)
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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Roadie
When my kids were little...eons ago...my sex life revolved around their bedtime. They understood they stayed in their beds once they were there. If I remember right, they only walked in on us once...neither said a word (and I wasnt about to stop in mid-stroke to see what they wanted) got a funny look on their little angelic faces and walked back out. It was never an issue for me.

My issue is now. Dreamer and I have been used to walking around naked, playing with each other and having sex whenever and wherever we wanted to. The first part of last December, her 22 y/o son...who is mentally challenged...came to live with us. He understands and knows all about sex (hell...he is a child). But our spontaneous sex life has gone out the window...now everything has to be planned. And keeping quiet is quite the challenge...Dreamer is quite vocal. My solution is a tent in the yard...so far I haven't  gotten anybody to agree with me...

Anybody have any solutions for us? And it is a good topic, P Gell....
Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life

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Plum Pudding
I don't know what to tell you. We were like Roadie and normally we just waited until my daughters bedime and usually works out good because there is some serious flirting and sneak aways so when the night time comes .... OH YEAH. Also my husband is fortunate enough to work from home so if I am off we can get some day time action in. My daughter is 8 and I honestly don't feel comfortable yet with doing it while she is up and around the house. I think when she gets older and not really thinking about us it would be easier.

We are gonna have to put on our thinking caps and try to come up with some creative solutions because quite frankly I am stumped. lol
LIve everyday as if it is your last.
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dreamer60
When the kids were little, my ex and I too planned around their bedtime, although there were a few times we ventured to the bedroom during the day when they were out playing or watching TV.
They knew about sex and the need for us to have alone time.
We did some creative back seat sex at times, doing it standing up at the kitchen door while I was keeping watch out the window for any sign that the little darlings were headed inside, meeting in the laundry room or bathroom when they were otherwise occupied and other means of slipping in that ever needed stress reliever...sex provided not only opportunity, but a sense of adventure as well.
Once while we were in the bedroom, behind a locked door, I heard giggles from the hallway and when I opened the door, there stood all three of them bent double with laughter...they had peeked through the key hole. Obviously, they weren't as distracted as we thought and they satisfied their curiosity about why Mom and Dad were such noisy laundry folders. Sometimes the best plans get busted.
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P Gell
Thank you, Dreamer and everybody.  The "waiting until bedtime" or "sneaking away during the day" worked really well with our three older kids. But, they were closer together, and had each other to play with, and it was easier to sneak away with them distracted and.........they slept. This child is almost like an only child, due to the difference in age with our other kids.  Our youngest is actually also a genius (Not bragging, but the kid is amazing and has an IQ which the school simply can't measure) and needs little sleep, and is very creative when it comes to avoiding what she doesn't want to to. I could handle this stuff with our other kids, but she's...different, very different.

She also stalls like crazy. One of her things is to wait until bedtime, and then have to go to the bathroom. As she has had a problem with a condition called Megacolon. TMI, I know, it's a genetic form of serious constipation which can cause the colon to become distended and make going to the bathroom not only difficult but take a very long time)  We can't very well tell her she "can't" go to the bathroom, and the condition prevents her from going on a schedule,  but I think she may sometimes use it as a way to avoid bedtime, because she simply doesn't need much sleep at all.

I've always been a good mother, but it's hard to put your foot down with a kid who not only has medical problems, but is so freaking smart that she sometimes uses things to her advantage. I have no way of knowing if or when she really needs to use the bathroom or not. Plus, even when she is in bed, like she should be, she often doesn't sleep.  We make love in the morning a lot. Sometimes, we'll think she's still asleep and she'll tell me later, "I've been awake since 4:30." Then just kind of look at me. It's driving me to distraction.

A few weeks ago, we made her go downstairs to use the potty after we went to bed, and we had a good time, due to not being distracted or worried.......I woke up at 2:00 in the morning, and she wasn't in her bed. She had fallen asleep on the potty downstairs. It's a big house, so you can't hear what's going on downstairs, and we plain forgot her.....I felt like a shitty mother, leaving my kid on the pot half the night.

I like the idea of moving her room down the hall, at least for the times when she IS in bed, but in the meantime, When we suggested it, one of her older siblings was in the room and asked, "Why do you want to do that? She has a room." The little child just looked at her older sister and rolled her eyes......she knows why. I am really going a little nuts about this.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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Hank Alvarez
Thank God my kids are grown now and these problems are theirs. I can remember being  constantly horny because the little buggers were night owls and I had to be an early riser. Kids are a good reason to have a lock on the bedroom door. With three of the little rug rats and curtain climbers we were always subject to coitus interupt-us. They'd come in whining, "I've gotta pee or I want a drink of water," until they were five or six. Isn't it great being a parent? Then there were nightmares, the noisy thunder storms, the imaginary boogie man under their bed or the stealthy little stinker who would sneak up on us in the dark and ask, "What are you two doing?" There were only quickies in those days and parents usually only get frantic sex if any. The only thing I can say now is for you rabbits to hang in there because better times are coming. Or there's always a vasectomy. Hank
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P Gell
Hank Alvarez wrote:

....the stealthy little stinker who would sneak up on us in the dark and ask, "What are you two doing?"  The only thing I can say now is for you rabbits to hang in there because better times are coming. Hank


LOL! I'd be crazed if one of mine did that! At least she knows not to do that! (I'm assuming this one was really little?)  In fact, lately, she has been better about knocking and being a little more considerate.

"better times are coming!" We almost had them,we DID have them, several years of our older kids being older and more independent......then I got pregnant in my late 30s again.....from the good times......LOL! We started all over again. We'll be on Social Security by the time this last one is moved out. (Well, the Man will be) And, she'll probably stay with us until she gets her MD or PhD, so it'll be forever.....at least by then, she'll know enough to not fall asleep on the toilet! I felt SO bad. There we were, fucking like wild animals, and not even remembering about her, then we fell asleep like rutting pigs afterwards, while the Child peacefully slept on the potty downstairs....OMG, I felt awful when I found her in the middle of the night!

I mean, we obviously do find time to have sex. We have sex virtually every day, sometimes twice or more,  it's just it's difficult for me to relax enough to come when she's awake and upstairs. When the kids were really little, there were a lot of quickies, but my sex drive is a little muted when I am nursing (and I nurse my kids until they say "enough" Um, the Child in question IS weaned...) so I didn't really care nor have the insane, perimenopausal drive I have now. The Man and I have always been more.....active than most of our friends, but it seems like we're more horny than when we were really young, now, and still with a smaller child. It's rough. I love her to death, she's obviously the product of our love and our lust (I remember her conception!) so we can stick it out a few more years.....Moving her down the hall might be the best answer for all of us.

Thanks, Hank.
I can be tolerant of almost anything....except Intolerance........and Dairy Products
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