Tabu Toypro
repost from Em&

Our contributor Jessie Whitfield, a psych major at Arizona State University and blogger at, has a confession to make:

My boyfriend and I used to fuck like bunnies.  And I don’t mean we were cute and cuddly in bed — I mean, we did it like they do on the Discovery Channel.  We couldn’t keep our dirty little paws off each other.  The sex was wild and wanton and all we could think about was how much more we wanted of each other. And then two years of passion passed and my once savage sex drive plummeted.

I felt terrible.  My boyfriend was lonely and full of lust, while I was sleepy and stressed from school and work. I shrugged off his attempts to seduce me, which frustrated him (and me) even more. When we did have sex, it was boring and bland, which made me want sex even less — and left my boyfriend less than satisfied. I knew I had to find a way to resuscitate our sex life.
Then it came to me: What our sex life needed was a feedback box, like you might see in your local coffee shop. Except instead of submitting an anonymous note requesting, “Softer toilet paper in the bathrooms, please!” we would commit our sexual fantasies to paper. And so I created a Fantasy Box. We would separately write down on slips of paper what our dirty dreams were, and then once a week, we’d draw one and do exactly what was written down.  Sure, it wasn’t exactly anonymous, but the simple act of writing something down, alone (rather than speaking it out loud, in person),  and also not knowing whether the saucy request would be selected the next night or months from now, freed us to be more honest than we’d ever been before.

I requested that he tie me up and blindfold me during sex, that we talk dirty during sex, that we videotape ourselves having sex, and that we have public sex.  My boyfriend requested that we do double penetration (with a dildo, not another man! there are limits, even in a Fantasy Box), that he ejaculate on my face, that we wear masks during sex, and that he lick ice cream off of my body.

It may sound simple, but the Fantasy Box perked up my sex drive and did wonders for our relationship. It improved our moods, and suddenly the bed was shaking and squeaking like it used it. Now if only I could convince him to buy extra-soft TP for his bathroom…
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