Tabu Toypro
repost from Em&Lo.com

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a sex writer who makes us feel like all we do is sit on our couches eating candy. She’s published 26 — count ‘em, 26! — books on the subject. Two of her most recent titles are a matching set on oral sex — Tasting Him and Tasting Her. (Admittedly, not our favorite titles, but you try coming up with something catchier.) Today she sits down with us to chat about fellatio tips and tales; stay tuned for her interview on Tasting Her next week.

E&L: We hear from so many women who don’t really enjoy going down on their guys. What can you tell them to help them enjoy it more?

RKB: Well, I think for some people, they’re just not into it, and that’s fine. Maybe part of the reason they aren’t is that some guys can be a little overeager when it comes to getting head, and instead of lying back and letting the person giving the blowjob ease into it and figure out their own pace, rhythm and technique, they want to run the show. That can be hot for some, but I think especially if you’re a woman and not so into going down, make him put his hands behind his head and shut up, and let you take control. That will at least give you the power to figure out what parts of giving a blowjob you do and don’t like and you won’t be rushed.

Some people say there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob. Do you agree?


I feel like as a woman I can’t truly answer that; I’ve often heard that, but guys have told me about so-so or “boring” blowjobs. A bad blowjob, in my estimation, would be where the giver has absolutely no interest in what they’re doing and are just going through the motions. I’m sure there are bad blowjobs, in which case the person receiving one should try to gently (very gently) tell the other person how to do it in a way that feels better, without necessarily criticizing them.

What’s one thing that people most often get wrong about blowjobs?

To be honest? Thinking there’s a “right way” and a “wrong way.” It’s different for everyone. You don’t have to swallow; you don’t “have to” do anything. To the one giving the blowjob, I’d say go at your own pace, make it fun for yourself. Touch yourself while you’re doing it, experiment to see what parts of the guy’s penis are most sensitive. Ask questions if you’re into that, though in my experience most guys will tell you what they’re looking for.

What’s your favorite blowjob tip?

I’d say enthusiasm — if you don’t have at least a little of it, don’t bother. And I don’t mean that in a disparaging way; giving blowjobs isn’t for everyone (receiving either, for that matter, though I personally would be very unhappy with someone who never wanted to receive blowjobs). If you’re genuinely enthusiastic, show him, and he’ll definitely notice. Initiate them sometimes, just because. Drop hints. Start with a blowjob as a prelude to sex. If you’re into it, he’ll be into you being into it.

This book features fellatio flavored with creme de menthe, cinnamon roll frosting, and even Prego spaghetti sauce! What’s up with the food and fellatio combo?

They can go well together, and I think it can be fun and lighten the mood to bring something sweet or, well, tomato-y, into it, though that’s not my preferred method. Food is sexy and sensual and for those of us with an oral fixation the acts of eating and feeding someone can be sexy. Food can prolong a blowjob, and you can tease him by adding some of whatever your food du jour is, licking/sucking it off, then starting all over again.

What’s your favorite moment in Tasting Him?

Tsaurah Litzkys’ story “Tony Tempo” is sexy and sweet, and it’s so rare that I get stories with older characters. Tony is in a nursing home, but he’s still horny, and the blowjob in this story is hot but also tinged with his memories of his wife. I like that bit of romanticism.

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Tabu Toypro
and here is the Tasting Her chat!

from Em&LO.com

Last week we interviewed prolific sex writer Rachel Kramel Bussel about her book of fellatio erotica, Tasting Him. Today we chat about Tasting Her, a book of erotica about — you guessed it! — cunnilingus.

E&L: You say in the intro that you haven’t always been a big fan of cunnilingus. Are people shocked to hear that a sex writer isn’t that into it?

RKB: I hope not. I mean, I’m not into everything, and I don’t think anyone should “have” to like something just because other people do. And again, I don’t hate cunnilingus, it’s just not top on my list, but there are certain people who can get me into it.

Did editing this book make you appreciate it more?

It definitely did. I love that the stories really bring out the joy of performing cunnilingus, and they also get at some women’s uncertainty around the act. Don’t get me wrong — plenty women love and need to get head; that is their primary or a major way they get off, and they enjoy it every chance they can get. I don’t want to give the idea that most women have issues with receiving oral attention, but some do, and I like the way there’s an element of, “Wow, that can be amazing!” to these stories, such as Jen Cross’s “Queen of Sheeba.”

We have to ask… What’s your opinion on the old alphabet trick (i.e. using your tongue to spell out the alphabet on your partner’s clitoris?

I don’t think anyone’s ever done this to me, and I’ve never done it, so I can’t say from experience. It seems a little silly, but if it works for people, that’s great.

What’s one thing that people most often get wrong about cunnilingus?

Being too aggressive. It’s not about going as fast as you can, and there’s much to be said for teasing and leading up to the main attraction.

Also, for both fellatio and cunnilingus, some people think of them only as foreplay, but they’re so not. They’re sex acts, and can be complete in and of themselves, and should be treated as such, especially if you’re a guy doing it on a girl who gives you blowjobs. Take your time (unless she tells you to hurry) and turn it into something you both enjoy.

What’s your favorite cunnilingus tip?

Getting the fingers involved as well. You can insert a finger or two while using your tongue/mouth on her clit, or use fingers and mouth in concert; or you can stroke her arm or leg or play with her nipples while you’re going down.

What would you say to a guy who says he doesn’t enjoy going down on a woman?

First I’d want to know why he doesn’t like it; was it one or two bad experiences, or has he never liked it? I think you have to at least give it a shot (if you’re with someone who is into it) to see what it’s like with them.

What’s your favorite moment in this book and why?

Jen Cross’s story “Queen of Sheba” — I love the tone, and the way she talks about a guy who just loved giving head. “He got me off so many times when he was down there, like that was the whole point. Can you imagine?” she writes. Um, yes, I can, and hopefully your readers have experienced a lover like that, who just can’t get enough. I also really liked “Cavanaugh’s Ridge” by Jeremy Edwards because it’s about a man who’s so passionate about the woman he’s with that he names the parts of her pussy and knows everything about them.

Tasting Him and Tasting Her are both available at Amazon.com.

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Hank Alvarez
Oral sex;Blow Jobs 101, as it was taught to me when I was young by an older woman who was quite good at it, boiled down to this:making love to a man with your hands, your, mouth: your lips, your tongue, your teeth, your throat and your heart. She credited it to the French and though a lot of women have tried it only a few were truly good at it. I've always been reluctant to ask for it because I know my lover is going to have to work her ass off to get me off but I've never turned it down.

From a strictly male perspective, this is what I like: I love a gal who gets down to business and swallows me whole. That is a talent very few have. They say that anatomically most of the nerves are in the head of the penis so maybe I'm abnormal because the deeper you go down on me the better it feels. I've asked my lover for years if she wanted me to shave and she said no so I guess thats a matter of choice.

Keeping contact with all of me is important. Your hands can stroke whats not in you mouth, or you can drag your nails over the inside of my thighs and balls. Which reminds me ladies, please don't forget the balls! Most women have gotten target fixation on the dick and forgotten his two brothers. Scratching, licking, even nibbling can feel wonderful.

The actual sucking is an art too. I've had women do it like they were trying to get it over with, way too fast. slow down. I like it slow and deep. Add in some humming, nibbling or biting for variety as a treat. You might want to speed it up when you begin to feel him twitch, but I like it slow. I've jokingly told my lover, "That feels wonderful. I'll give you an hour to stop that." We both know it won't take that long but she can control the pace. Toward the end when he begins to leak his pre-cum you can increase the intensity by sucking harder. The object here is to suck his brians right out of the end of his dick.

At this pont you have to make a decision, are you going to swallow or spit? Either can be done artfully. One lover, when I asked how she could accommodate the volume of fluid, she told me that when I started to cum she would change the rythum to going down as I ejaculated so that she didn't have so much in her mouth and it was that much easier to swallow. Supposedly there's only about a tablespoon but at times it has seemed like a lot more.

Last, but certainly not least don't stop until he does. The most common error I've had performed on m is my past lovers is them quitting before I'm finished. If you're in doubt, ask him. I like my lover to slow the pace and just suck on me until there's nothing there and it melts in her mouth.

This is a treat that guys don't get very often and most not often enough, so make a show out of it. If you can do this right, you one of very few, so flaunt it. Let him know what you're going to do and do it. There's a memory I've had for about forty-eight years of my first BJ and it goes back to my lover's dimly lit bedroom. She was a little older and more experienced and when she finished me she stood up, wiped a trickle of cum from the corner of her mouth and said,"I'll bet that was the best blow job you ever had." It was not only the best but the first and until I married my wife there were few in between. There are other treats we can add to this if you like.
Hank
 
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Hank Alvarez
Hey guys, how about a little help here. Hank
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Roadie
I'm afraid I can't be much help here Hank. The Roadie History of Oral Sex is a shakey one at best.

Wife #1 was a non-swallower. She would go visit down there, but would never stay and only went there because most of the time when she did, I had her tied to the bed and she had no choice. But I did not force her to swallow.

Wife #2 was a swallower, but a non-enjoyer of said art. She did it because she thought she had to once in a while. But because she really didnt like doing it, I didnt enjoy her doing it. I never forced her to do it. She finally quit doing it, using the excuse that I watched the news while she did (a lie, btw).

Now Wife #3...Dreamer. (has anybody noticed my entire sex life always comes down to Dreamer?) She loves to do it, she loves to swallow. I love every minute of it. I am sure there is more to it than what is happening now, but because this part of sex done right is still so new to me, I just let her go...do whatever, however she wants.

I am sure that at some point in time, we will spend an afternoon doing nothing but oral sex...but until that day, I'm just gonna go with the flow...so to speak.
Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life

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Hank Alvarez
Maybe that old girl friend was right and I'm part French. Hank
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I'm here to say there are good and there are bad blowjobs. Nothing like unenthusiasm and sharp teeth to ruin a beautiful thing.
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I should follow that up with "that is never a problem anymore" just in case my wife reads this. Love ya Honey!
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Hank Alvarez
Depending on how excited you are teeth can be a wonderful thing. Just nibble, don't bite. Hank
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