TabuToys Moderator
And now a very important announcement from Dan Savage of the Village Voice:

"Dear Dan: I love the wife I married two years ago, but she absolutely can't come unless she uses a vibrator on herself. She's asked me to let her use it during sex or for me to use it on her, but I've refused. It's bad enough knowing I can't compete with that thing without having to look at it.

Let's Insert My Prick"


Yeah, yeah, LIMP, you can't compete. Like a lot of other men, you've fallen in love with a woman who needs intense, focused stimulation in order to come, the kind of sensation that hands, fingers, tongues, and cocks just can't provide—a woman who requires a vibrator. Now let's take a little time to grieve, shall we?

Time's up.

Now, stop being such a douchebag about this, LIMP, and go ask the wife to show you just how to hold the vibrator and just where to apply pressure so that you—YOU!—can start giving her orgasms during sex. See the vibrator as a tool, moron, not a threat. Because if being with you means going without orgasms during sex for the rest of her life—all because she was foolish enough to marry an insecure bag of slop who refuses to do what needs to be done to get her off—then your wife just might decide to be with someone else.

And now an important message for all straight guys everywhere: Some women need vibrators to get off. Why? Well, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that most of a woman's clitoral tissues are inside her body; the exposed part of her clitoris is just the tip, comparable to the head of your penis. Now imagine if the shaft of your penis was buried inside your body, guys. You might need the help of a vibrator to get off then, too; you might need a tool that could stimulate your shaft through layers of skin and muscle and fat. We've been over and over this since the early 1990s, fellas, and there's no excuse anymore for freaking out about your wife/girlfriend/mom needing a vibrator, OK?

But any ladies feeling smug about guys feeling insecure about your sex toys might want to check out RealTouch, a new sex toy for men. A self-lubricating, self-heating sex toy with gears and belts and bells and whistles, the RealTouch simulates—somehow or other—the sensations of twats, asses, and mouths, according to its manufacturers. It can be plugged into a computer and synched up with porn clips so that it speeds up, slows down, grips, whatever, in time with the speeding up, slowing down, gripping, and whatever that you're watching on the screen.

While I doubt a RealTouch is going to "make all of your fantasies come true" (unless you've always fantasized about getting your dick caught in a coked-up DustBuster), it looks like we're one step closer to those sexbots we've heard so much about. We're certainly closer to sex toys for men that women are going to feel like they have a hard time competing with. (I know, ladies, yes. But the Internet isn't technically a sex toy.)

Now, I haven't placed my cock in a RealTouch, so I'm not vouching for it. I'm also not remotely interested in trying out a first-generation RealTouch, because I don't want the thing going all Westworld on me with my cock jammed inside it. (Readers under the age of 35 might want to ask someone over 35 to explain the Westworld reference.) So please don't send me one, manufacturers. But anyone out there who has tried one and lived to tell the tale, I'd like to hear from you at mail@savagelove.net.

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Roadie
Let's talk for a minute about the other side of the vibrator coin, shall we?

I was married to a woman...make that two woman...who were so adverse to sex, it HAD to hurt. At least having sex with me. They both possessed vibrators...one had a battery operated one, the other had a plug-in 'massager'. And neither of them was adverse to using them...ESPECIALLY when I wasn't around.

Before anybody says the problem is obvious, that I didn't know how to help them have an orgasm through any means necessary, know this...Wrong Answer, Sports Fans! I learned early in my sex life, the first, and most important thing to know, was SHE always came first. Satisfying her was more important than anything else I could do.

I felt like I was in direct competition with a vibrator and there is no way I can outlast a battery or electrical appliance. If you can, I would appreciate an e-mail!

Now...Dreamer is, what she calls, 'a little nympho' (thats a lie...she is 'a lot nympho). She has at least 5 vibrators of various shapes and sizes. Hell, I have one! And she uses them...even when I am not around. But it does not bother me because I know more, than anything, she would much rather have me inside her than a plastic or rubber shaft. We use them together. And as far as I'm concerned, she is more than welcome to use any vibrator she has any time she wants...even if I'm not here.

Dildo-brain mentioned above is an idiot!
Lovin My Wife...Lovin Life

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Adriana
This has been making its rounds online. I think I wrote a little more PC version on my blog a while ago.
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TabuToys Moderator
Can you re-post it here, Adriana?
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Adriana
Sure, and is there something wrong with emoticons?
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Adriana
A good friend recently came to me with concerns about his girlfriend and her sex toys. He was feeling a little bit intimated and wanted to know this:

    Am I, as a guy, good enough to make my girl have a better orgasm than she can get with using a toy? Is it weird or wrong to feel bad about something like that?

No, it’s not wrong to worry about something like this.

Because you’re only human. I think feeling intimidated is fairly common and understandable. However, taking a look at what makes up the intimidation can help to greatly reduce or even eliminate it. While I advocate sex toys, I understand that some people simply do not like this. This is not about not liking sex toys; rather, it is about feeling replaceable in relation to them. Furthermore, although my examples focus on a heterosexual relationship, these feelings are universal.

Yes, sex toys may be bigger than you are.

Vibrators and dildos may be bigger or longer or thicker. They are often even made to look realistic and next to your natural manhood, you may feel small. But keep this in mind. Bigger is not always better. The vagina is not a neverending canal and there comes a point when size is painful rather than pleasurable.

Yes, vibrators may have more bells and whistles than you do.

Let’s face it: vibrators do a lot of stuff. For starters, they vibrate. They pulsate. They rotate. They bend and wiggle and wave and have beads and even thrust like a penis. Furthermore, vibrators run on batteries or are rechargeable so they may last longer than you.

Yes, sex toys may sometimes feel better.

With all the technological advancements, no one is surprised how far sex toys have come. Sometimes sex toys do just the trick but sometimes a guy just wants to masturbate for a (relatively) quick and easy orgasmic release, too.

Yes, toy induced orgasms may be better.

But orgasms vary in intensity for many other reasons. I’ve had both awesome orgasms and really disappointing orgasms with a partner and with sex toys.

No, sex is not all about physical sensations (or even orgasm).

I don’t want to generalize but for many men, sex ends with orgasm and ejaculation. It’s easy to understand how this can lead to the assumption that the goal of sex is orgasm through pleasure. However, females are different creatures. For them, sex more often focuses on the emotional aspect. Pleasure is also important and, luckily, we’re becoming a society which stresses pleasure for both genders. However, the female orgasm is still one which can often be difficult to achieve. So if you think that sex is all about physical sensation, then sex toys may just give you a run for your money. However..

Yes, all that “other stuff” is important to her, too.

As I said, there is often a stronger emphasis on the emotional aspect of sex for women. The bond you share, the vulnerability you’re willing to show when stripped to the skin and intimate moments during sex are all important factors when it comes to enjoying sex. When these factors are high, the physical pleasure may not be as necessary or may be a secondary reward.

No, sex toys are not human.

I think this is what it all comes down to. It’s easy to feel intimidated when only consider the factor of pleasure but sex is made up of much than that for all people. Being comfortable with your significant other using sex toys is easier once you realize you are not replaceable because of the human aspect. The emotional bond, your desire to please your lover, your ability to observe her reactions to please her better, small talk and even awkward moments make sex with another human unique and irreplaceable and are why not heterosexual woman is likely to put her boyfriend in the nightstand instead of her vibrator.

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