TabuToys Moderator
1. Etiquette
A lot of people seem to have this idea that swinging is a no holds barred orgy, with no standards, no rules, and no swinging etiquette. Not so! Just like in any kind of community or social club there is some basic swinging etiquette that everyone should know and live by.

First off, just because someone's a swinger it doesn't mean they will do anything with anyone. Just like asking someone out on a date when you ask another couple to swing with you, you have to give them the chance to say "no". And if they do say no take it with good grace and keep looking. It doesn't do anyone any good to pressure them or to demand they explain why they declined.

Next, always, always, *always* be respectful. Different couples have different boundaries. If someone in the group is uncomfortable in the situation, or with a particular act, let it go. Swinging should be a comfortable enjoyable experience for everyone involved. That means giving as much respect to the boundaries of the primary partners as to the boundaries of the person you're having sex with.

And lastly always say thanks. Basic etiquette overlaps with swinging etiquette. Thank your hostess for inviting you to the party. And it's always nice to let the couple you paired off with know that you had a nice time.

2. Open and Closed
Many outsiders don't realize it but within the swinging community there are two major subsets- closed swinging and open swinging. Some people are into both styles but others are strictly into one or another. And swinging etiquette can vary wildly depending on if the couple you're becoming involved with are open or closed swinging aficionados!
Open swinging involves having sex in the same room with your primary partner and another couple. Sometimes open swinging means having sex in the same bed, not just the same room. This is a great choice for swingers that like to watch their partners having sex and for couples that have very strict rules about what they will or will not do with outside partners. There can be no question about what your partner has been doing if you are right in the room when things are happening. Some couples just feel more comfortable, and safer, if they are in the same room at all times with their other partners. Open swinging can also lead to group sex situations, though if you are open to that you should talk about it before just assuming it's something they'd like to try. 

Closed swinging is when couples part and have sex in a room separate from the one where their primary partner is. Many people feel less pressure and are more comfortable if they don't have an audience. They also feel like they can form a deeper more intimate bond with their new partner if their primary partner isn't there to distract them.

3. Soft swinging
Many people wonder if swinging is a safe thing to be doing. With all the diseases out there (and irresponsible people who don't get tested) it's understandable why they are concerned. But swinging isn't about passing yourself around to a new person every night. Most swingers have the same 'rules' when it comes to swinging as if they are taking a date home for the night. No protection, no sex. Period.

Because of fears of STD's (or just plain jealousy) many couples choose "soft swinging." Meaning, they love to tease and play with their new friends but go back to their wife/husband for actual intercourse. 
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