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repost from Jordan & Samantha's Sex Advice (via examiner.com)

Dear Jordan & Samantha,

My boyfriend is a wonderful man, but I never orgasm in bed because he comes in only a few minutes from start to finish. I call him an “eight-minute-man,” because, literally, that’s how long it takes from the moment he gets a hard-on to the moment just after ejaculating when he’s rushing to the shower. I’m afraid I’m feeling terribly dissatisfied and I’m not sure what I should say to him to get him to take some time to meet my needs.

Sincerely,

I need at least 15 minutes



Dear 15+,

Unfortunately, for a lot of men sex is like getting on a steam engine for a one-way trip to destination ejaculation! So often they charge right ahead without considering any of the seductive and supple scenery on their journey to the jizz.

Women have a much longer sexual response cycle then men, and as such it takes a longer, more circuitous and scenic route to arrive at your orgasmic depot. It’s time to introduce your lazy lover to the fun of foreplay.

First, please note that men’s sexual egos are fragile as bluebird eggs, so it is critical that you don’t A. tell him what he’s doing wrong in a negative way (i.e. "you are so selfish I never come in bed you bastard!"; or B. tell him that there’s something wrong with his performance during or just following your 8-minute bedroom romp.

The best technique to break his bad bedroom habit is to boldly suggest you two try something new and exciting together – right before you venture into grand sexual station.

Here are some ideas that should lengthen the foreplay and hopefully launch you into the big O:

1. Tell your boyfriend that you want a good, long make-out session. Don’t let him undress you, and don’t let him undress. Spend time kissing and nibbling and sucking on each other’s necks for 15-20 minutes, just like the good ol’ days. This heavy petting will get the fire stoked and allow you to open into a sexually awakened state.

2. Challenge your boyfriend to find out how long it will take for him to make you come with finger and tongue. Assure him that after you orgasm he’ll be in for a treat (whether that’s a blowjob from you, or if you are multi-orgasmic, enjoying a fabulous romp).

3. Buy a fun sex game that includes foreplay games. Dirty dice, for example, or a Sex Card Game.

4. Masturbate for him. Show him how you like to be touched and what it takes to get you off. This will drive him crazy and you can guarantee yourself release. You can also opt to bring your favorite vibrator into the sack to enhance intercourse.

5. Feel free to make it a relationship rule that he is not allowed to come until you do. Ladies first! Typically this requires the use of finger, tongue, and/or toy before he can even penetrate you. It’s fun for both of you to find out exactly what gets you hot, and what tips you over the edge into satisfaction.

If you start really enjoying sex with your boyfriend, he’ll soon realize that it makes it that much more exciting for him too.

Good luck!

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