Women will understand this and the men should memorize it.

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:  What's for dinner?
SAFER:  Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST:  Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:  Are you wearing that?
SAFER:  Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST:  WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:  What are you so worked up about?
SAFER:  Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST:  Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:  Should you be eating that?
SAFER:  You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST:  Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS:  What did you DO all day?
SAFER:  I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST:  I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE:  Here, have some wine.
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Adriana
Adorable
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mistress_kay
Kinda cute. Not really getting the "wine" part, but still. Kinda funny.
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Adriana
I don't do wine either but I think anything that helps take the edge off is funny
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