Re Roadie and Hank and all other who posted, thanks for you kind words and thoughts. Communications was never a problem as far as talking about it and my support for her and her beliefs during her battle with cancer, when it started to slack off was went it came to talking about personal stuff like sex. Like Hank said you need to people to go to counseling, well this is one thing she has steadfastly refused to do because it is her firm belief that there is nothing wrong with her it is all me. The cooking thing was a good idea but I am already the chief cook and bottle washer and have been the whole time we have been together. The only thing she know how to really run well in the kitchen is the microwave. I learned cooking from my grandmothers a combinations of Polish. Slovak, Italian, Portuguese, German, Russian. So as you can see my taste vary. I also learned from some of the best cooks in the world, the neighbor hood mothers, girlfriend mothers and Ladies from the retirement home where I as a young teenager use to entertain playing the organ for there Sunday afternoon teas. I have recipe book that date back to the 1800s and personal recipes that are family secrets that I will never let out. Though I am not to the point of thinking of getting a rid of the better half, I know that in time my sanity will slowly dwindle and recovery might not become a option. Another lucky point is that there are no young children involved. Like you Hank I don't know how well I would handle jumping the fence, guilt is a hell of a thing to carry around inside of you and eats away at your soul. The only thing I really have is my memories and that is why I write about them on sites like this. Maybe that is my therapy but it is only slowing down the process of insanity not stopping . Once again thanks for all the thoughts and prayers.
Just a ole hippy at heart, been around the block more that I care to think about. Lived a full life and looking to add to it. Memories are wonderful but making them is much more fun.