YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...

- You have ever been spanked with chanclas.

- You have later been spanked with the plancha chord.

- You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas on the linoleum floor.

- Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.

- You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.

- You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.

- You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii".

- You gone to the Pulga every weekend for years. Two points if you actually enjoy it!)

- You have gone to Tia's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the living room.

- You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in your livingroom.

- You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.

- You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.

- You have a perpetually drunk uncle

- You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, Juan, Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.

- You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.

- You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager.

- You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.

- You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.

- You drink all beer with limon and salt. (Two extra points for a splash of Tapatio)

- You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a house.

- You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.

- You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.

- You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.

- You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.

- You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe).

- You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst."

- You drive a Cheby- (Chevy), an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon (VolksWagon)

- You call your sneakers -tenis- .

- Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.

And last, but not least...

- Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything.
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